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[2017]: Best Fl... - Nah Man, WORST Flyers
Let's just get right to the hate this year, my friends. Avast, Shanghai, ye scurvy dogs, here're the worst flyers of 2017.
By Dec 28, 2000 Community
Oh hello.

Please come in. Come in, my friend, and have a seat right here with me, right next to the fire. I've just been drinking this brandy and sifting through these event submissions for the year that was. In 2017, SmartShanghai received over 6,000! Would you like a tumbler?

But yes.

Here we are again. As is our yearly... thing we will never escape from... here is a list of the worst, most gawd awful, eyeball-punishing crimes against photoshop submitted to the SmartShanghai mainframe for the year two-oh-one-seven.

Join hands and let the hate wash over you like a glorious healing waterfall.

In the interests of transparency, here are the rules and guidelines once again for the yearly worst flyers article:

**ahem**

1) There was no system, I just went through the flyers and looked for the biggest pieces of shit.

Let's begin.


***

Shanghai"

Ho boy. Hoooo boy. HO. BOY. EEESH. GAH. PHEW. Starting off huge right here. Let's face it: We all knew this was coming.

I mean... what is there to say?

Really, my main complaint is this: How am I supposed to read the print at the bottom, Bar Rouge? It's tiny! Bar Rouge? Are you trying to make me go blind?

*

Shanghai"

Yeah, the border work is very nice and all, and the color scheme is on point too, but there might just be too many filtering and layering effects on it. As a completed composition. Like, do we need the star patterning in the background there? Do we need the old timey paper filter?

Or does it clutter up an image that is already quite... attention grabbing?

*

Shanghai"

That QR code too. My phone can't read that! How am I supposed to get the valuable party information if I can't scan that QR Code? I ask you? I ask you!

Really, it's these tiny details that mtke a flyer from a real eye-catching piece of work WITH ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER PROBLEMS AT ALL to something that basically just does a disservice to the event.

*

Shanghai"

Are the colors and patterns too matchey-matchey, you think? Really take a good look at it. Really press your face right into your computer screen. My argument is that there's something to be said for... like almost an element of human error to convey a bit of personality. Feels a bit too photoshopped.

I might -- might -- have dialed back the patterns a bit. If it as me.

Might.

Other than that I can't really see any...

*

Shanghai"

Well... maybe not. Sigh. Maybe that's not it. Yeah, the patterns do lend it a nice sense of symmetry. There's some good use of the "composition of threes" rule.

But... hmm...

JUST THERE'S AN ISSUE HERE AND I CAN'T PUT MY FINGER ON IT.

*

Shanghai"

Oh hai there! Waaaugh!

Someone kuadi this man's penis?

Anyone?

Hang on... My mind's not into this.

Where's that Bar Rouge one again.

*

Shanghai"

Yeah I mean... hmmm. It's so close to having NO PROBLEMS AT ALL.

What is it?

Maybe it's the crosshatching on the "assault" part?

*

Shanghai"

Nah... something... something else.

ITS KILLING ME WHAT IT COULD BE.

*

Shanghai"

Gotta say my favorite Will Ferrel, John C. Riley movie is still Step Brothers but this one looks like it could be pretty great too.

*

Shanghai"

Wow. You can tell this shook up the Carlsberg people something fierce. Put the fear of death into them. Like their world is just crumbling around them.

Monday morning meeting Carlsberg CEO is like ASAHI IS KILLING US, THEY'RE KILLING US, I NEED 30 IDEAS BY NOON.

*

Shanghai"

Round Eye's all worried like this one would go over their audiences' head. Like they're being "too John Cleese" for the kids. Better get that dotted line in there to drive it home.


*

Shanghai"

Tasty little booking of Lord Zorbon the Defiler of Souls, coming in special from Alpha Centauri to lay down a set of his smoothest jazz standards before tearing our reality from its axis and ending existence as we know it.

*


Shanghai"

This is what happens when you find that perfect cache of Photoshop tutorials on YouTube and then you take a Pontiac Firebird Trans Am and drive screaming doughnuts all over them, snorting speed off the dash, blasting Manowar.

*

Shanghai"

Just having a good ole hat laff...

*

Shanghai"

Hey, check it out, apparently the F1 got one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to play their after-party.

*

Shanghai"

Hey, it doesn't matter how many times you write it on the flyer, you can't make it true.

*

Shanghai"

It's like all the worst dudes from first year Poli-Sci formed a supergroup and are touring the world answering questions no one asked, going on huge aggravating diatribes about late stage capitalism, and showing up to class with a copy of the Wall Street Journal tucked under their arms.

*

Shanghai"

Oh shit "Eric" is playing? And Patrick? Huge line-up.

This is like the Storm Festival of co-worker events you get guilt-ed into going to and it's absolutely awful.

*

Shanghai"

I have no idea what the fuck is going on here but I'm lovin' every second of it.

This thing is taking me back. Haven't felt like this in forever.

This thing is laying me down gently and worst flyering me like it's my first time again.

*
Shanghai"

Even French people are like, guys, come on, can we dial back the French-ness to like a 7 or something?

*

Shanghai"

I was going to make a joke about The Nest here but I couldn't work it in. Feel free to insert your own right here on this Banana Party flyer.

*

Shanghai"

OH.

Heeeeyyyyy....

***

Love and kisses to you all! No hard feelings! Wah wah!



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