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[Eat it]: Masse's Poutine
Talking A-BOOT that french fries, gravy, and cheese curds. Haha, Canadians pronounce "about" like "a-boot". So hilarious. So funny.
By Nov 10, 2011 Dining
Eat It is a regular feature that cuts to the core of a given restaurant's menu, highlighting a specialty, favorite, or otherwise good thing to eat.

Sometime in the early 12th century, someone from Quebec got totally hammered, probably on Labatt 50, and realized that combining French fries, cheese curds, and gravy is really delicious.

This is known as the "poutine" -- a cornerstone of traditional Canadian cuisine, along with Beavertail pastries… um… maple syrup, maple syrup candies, um… hot dogs?... hamburgers, Wendy’s hamburgers… chicken wings… oh, White Spot definitely… waffles?... I think waffles… and Big Macs. All these constitute fine Canadian cuisine.

This is what a poutine looks like:


Looks boss, eh!

This is usually who is serving it to you:


"Eh, fought da guy at da bar last night -- he wuz twice mah beeg, three times mah heavy! One Canada, one GE-BEQUE."

You're eating it with your wasted friends who all look like this:


Where'd you get that banana, guy! Looks sweet.

***

The basic poutine consists of three ingredients: French fries -- a thicker, crispy kind of French fry -- a light gravy sauce -- turkey or chicken gravy usually -- and cheese curds. Ideally, you’ve fortified your stomach with about 40 beers before ingesting the poutine because that’s when it tastes the best. It’s supposed to be nice and salty -- a delicious little bastard going down and then when you barf it back up about 20 minutes later, it’s supposed to taste like barfing up thermal winter socks.

It’s supposed to taste like barfing these up:



Anyways, over at Masse they offer poutine and it’s quite delicious. It looks like this:


The traditional spread at a redneck Canadian funeral.

The French fries are thick and crispy and they use a nice mushroom gravy, which is light, smooth, and salty. Very good gravy. As for cheese curds... Bummer. Meiyou. They don’t have. No cheese curds. They’re using grated mozzarella cheese, which is, admittedly, less than ideal. Although it’s not much of a stretch to serve poutine with grated cheese instead of cheese curds -- some places do it like that in Canada as well -- cheese curds would be super sweet if they could get them. But they can’t. But that’s alright. No worries. Still tastes very good. It’s still a nice poutine and, I think, the only poutine available to you in Shanghai. It’s only 25rmb, and portion-wise, that’s about a medium-size cup serving. Very good. Go eat it.

Here’s the thing: every Thursday at Masse they have specials on their Canadian stuff. 25rmb Moosehead beer, 25rmb Canadian Clubs, 25rmb poutine. Yeah, that’s pretty good. If you’re Canadian and feeling a little home sick, that sorts you out right there. If you’re not Canadian but are interested in Canadian cuisine and culture, it’s basically a bunch of bros getting smashed on CC, eating poutine, and playing Golden Tee. Maybe some darts. EHHHHH.

Feel free to partake in this noble tradition Thursdays at Masse.

Masse's poutine is 25rmb for a serving. Available all the time, but its off-menu so you have to ask for it. Thursdays they do specials on Canadian drinks -- Moosehead and CC are 25rmb.

10 comments.

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  • rob.r

    Where's the paprika?

  • marinam

    excellent article! very funny, like the Kedi Mart Ice Creams series.

  • Taigr

    white spot??? not in my part of canada...also big bamboo has poutine...it's nawt bad.

  • AxelFifou

    You can also ask one at Piro :D with some pepper sauce and it is delicious !!

  • morgan

    Ahh man. I didn't know Bamboo and Piro had poutine. Gonna have to giv'er on that shit. Thanks for the heads up.

  • rob.r

    RE: Piro/Poutine, I didn't know cat hair was a key ingredient in Quebec's finest tradition...

  • matteroffact

    I haven't tried the poutine at Masse, but I'll definitely make my way there next Thursday. Seriously, what a great deal. I eat poutine and drink Moosehead when I'm trolling the streets in Canada, so this just makes everything a little better in Shanghai.

    sidenote: Julie's Food Experience has poutine as well, but it's not very good. Not nearly as bad as when Kabb had poutine on the menu however. Blandest bowl of soggy mush i'D ever eaten.

  • djsexypaul

    Bamboo has real curds on their Poutine

  • Satsuke

    I'm a Canadian and this article is a little weird...i really don't understand the humour in this article...but we're here to talk poutine. Fries with cheddar and gravy is not a real poutine however it is still a delicious alternative. Poutine is known for it's cheese curds. Not any cheese curds(there are such thing as bad cheese curds), cheese curds that squeak when you chew on them, with the perfectly fried fries(not to soggy, just crisp enough) and the perfect flavoured gravy(not to salty not to thick and served hot).

    You really need the experience of going to a poutine house on a negative 20 day in quebec and just indulging on some great poutine. or yes...i'll admit it tastes amazing when your hammered.

  • Fubaobao

    Julie's Canadian Food Experience at Hongmei Lu and SWFC also makes poutine, with hunks of mozzarella. They have some variations on it, too (Italian style I think?).

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