In an attempt to reverse the downward spiral of your mental and physical wellbeing, in these Self-Help articles we bring you suggestions of classes, sporty things, team events, volunteering and educational stuff that might just pull you out of that boozy tail-spin.
For previous Self-Helps, I’ve had people swing pointy pieces of metal at me, climbed perilous heights and embarrassed myself dancing in front of large gatherings of women. But I can honestly say I’ve never been as nervous about joining one of these activities as I was about playing rugby. Rugby is one of the toughest sports on the planet and, if you’ve ever watched a match, you’ll see colossal meat-mountains smash into each other with nary a whisper of padding to protect them. So, you can imagine my trepidation trekking out to join the Shanghai Rugby Football Club, lacing up my cleats and stepping out to face off against a rather violent, untimely end.
But what do we say to the God of Death?
Not today. Not today.
What you need
Great insurance and, preferably, a doctor in tow. Oh, and typical athletic stuff like shorts, towels, water, cleats/boots (cross-trainers aren’t really that great for rugby), and a mouth guard for protecting your pearly whites. Also, if you feel fancy, you can bring a scrum cap, which is that kind of knobby, tight, black helmet you’ll see some rugby dudes strap to their cranium. A jockstrap would seem to be a good idea, too.
What happens
The point of the game is to toss that ball around until someone can run over a line to score a try, which would be the equivalent of a touchdown for us Yankees. I peppered the coach of the whole shebang, Angus Peacock, with questions and he told me that they play 7s, 10s and 15s, which all correspond to the number of players on each team on the field. So, essentially the fewer people on the field the more running and less tackling that’s involved. The day I went we played 10s on a quarter of a field, so there was plenty of opportunities to maul the occasional Frenchman.
What happens next
They practice on Tuesday and Thursday nights, but the big match days are on Saturdays, which was the day I went. First of all, Angus split up the group into the more legit rugby-ers and all newish players like me. Angus took the monsters off and Angus’s lieutenant Stefan took all the brittle china to forge into lethal scrummers and ruckers. We started off with basic tackling practice, which meant hurling our bodies at a bunch of bags, and various drills. After that, you get into contact practice, where you pray you don’t get matched up with one of the hulking behemoths lurking around the field. Once that’s done, we started our 10s scrimmage, which is where all the magic happens. It was straight-up, full-contact, full-speed rugby in all its primal glory. It was quite liberating, really. It was messy. It was hard. Boys were knocked down but they stood up men. No one was badly hurt and you get that bonding thing that happens when men are being tough with each other in a semi-controlled environment.
Finally, once the game is done, there's some optional conditioning practice and then everyone goes out to drink the pain away.
Who goes in for this
A common myth about rugby is that you have to look like you just rolled off a Viking longship to play. Not so, I’m told. There were plenty of smaller guys like me running around and going toe-to-toe with all the earth-shakers clomping around the field. In rugby you actually need both big guys for tackling and smashing and smaller, faster guys for running around and scoring tries. All the dudes who went were in fairly good shape though, so it might be wise to hit up some Crossfit before going. All told, there were probably around 30-40 dudes mauling each other on the day that I went.
But let not forget girls' rugby. There were about 12 girls there practicing and more who play rugby regularly. So fear not, there is plenty of rugby love for the women. Marielle Buccilli, the team captain for the girls' team, dubbed the Jenny Crabs, told me that girls of all sizes and fitness abilities play and have a good time. When I was watching, they were playing touch rugby, but Marielle told me that they do go full contact once everyone becomes more familiar with the rules and the flow of the game.
In terms of ethnic make-up, it was quite the “rainbow coalition of nations”, as Angus put it. The day I went there were English, French, Spanish, Welsh, Irish, Germans, Chileans, a surprising number of Americans, and a couple of others from various corners of the world. It hasn’t quite caught on fully in China yet, but Marielle told me that the situation is rapidly changing because 7s rugby is on the slate to become an Olympic sport and you know how the Chinese government is always pining for extra gold medals.
How much of your life will this take up
Potentially, a lot of it. These are actual teams — it’s broken up into the Hairy Crabs, the Hermit Crabs and the Freshwater Crabs, ranging from highest to lowest — who go and play in circuit cups and tournaments all around Asia. Other than the actual teams and competing, there's the whole community that surrounds rugby. The camaraderie was palpable, with all of the veterans supporting and helping out the newer guys. Everyone was friendly and helpful and there was something about everyone bleeding together and mauling that really built a circle of trust. Afterwards, they usually head out to the bars — typically The Shed, which serves as a rugby sponsor and the epicenter of rugby social life in Shanghai — and knock back some beers to help ameliorate the pain.
The community extends off the field, as well. There is a huge charity that runs parallel with the Shanghai Rugby Club called Sport for All, which helps promotes a healthy and active lifestyle for kids in Shanghai. Angus oversees the organization in addition to his role as coach of the Hairy Crabs. So, even if you don’t feel like getting steamrolled every week, there are still opportunities to join the community.
How much does it cost
People can to join the first few practices for free, but after that there's a membership fee for the Shanghai Rugby Football Club. The highest player fee is 2000rmb/year and that includes things like accommodation for trips to Hong Kong or wherever else they may play, buses for the matches, food and drink deals, a full kit in January 2014 (the outfit that the rugby players wear for games), and all the referees, pitch staff and medical staff. So, you’re rmb goes a long way when you sign up. There are also other, cheaper ways to get involved for students and those who are in it for the social aspect and don’t feel like getting bruised every Saturday.
Plusses
Besides the aforementioned rugby community, it was fantastic exercise. You’re doing a lot of running and a lot of tackling, so it builds both your cardio and your functional strength. There’s none of this "let’s work on this isolated muscle group" stuff that everyone talks about at big gyms. You’ll get faster, bigger and stronger and all of your friends will start to fear you because, let’s be honest, there is no scarier group of people than those who play rugby.
Minuses
You’re going to get hurt, there’s just no other way to put it. Probably not seriously, but yeah, you’ll be hurting. Everyone had cuts and scrapes on their elbows and knees and one dude had a pretty wicked gash under his eye at one point. The day after I went, I was pretty sore and banged up. Bad injuries are rare though and Angus is serious about injury management. He's always watching out for signs of concussions and whatnot. They actually have some guys from the Institute of Western Surgery attend all of the games and practices so there's always immediate medical attention available.
So, I survived the melee, much to my frenzied delight. There was one point where I had the ball and was tackled by half of the people on the field and the group collapsed on me like a dying star. As I lay under the crushing pile of humanity, I heard Angus shout from somewhere far off in the foggy distance, “Don’t kill the journo, we still have to get him to write the article for us!”
So, maybe they took it easy on me.
***
For more information about where this takes place and enrolling, go here. Matches and practice take place at 2700 Zhangyang Bei Lu (张杨北路2700号) which is close to Line 6's Wuzhou Avenue. It's pretty far out if you're coming from downtown but players usually share taxis out there.
Those interested in coming down can contact contact@rugbyshanghai.com or call 6155 8211 for all the details of the club.
Special thanks to Colin Murray for his help with this article.