Oh, my beloved Shanghai and all my beloved people. How I've learned so much from you…
From the casual S&Mers to the guy with the full-on nose fetish; from all the "suffers of Yellow Fever" to the guy who straight-up f**ked his ayi
; from all my friends in need to all to my friends with benefits, I bow my head to you and give thanks for the memories and good times.
I never thought that I would be answering such fascinating questions!
To all the people who took the time to write in, you lit up my lonely nights, as I drowned in wine and pounded away on my laptop. There were times of anger, frustration -- for the last time, if you need me to tell you where the handjob salons are, maybe you don't deserve one -- heartbreak, confusion, and also solace, comfort, respect, friendship and love.
I loved meeting some of you in real life, invariably getting this: "You're Matsume? The "AskMatsume"? But you're so short?! I imagined you to be tall, dark and covered in leather. I'm so confused. You look, um, so different..."
For the people that just joined us, here's a little history lesson: The AskMatsume advice column has been running since 2006. That's almost 10 years. Wow. Ten years. I must say those first few years were my favorite, as I still had free reign and nobody had told me yet that I was too vulgar, or that I should watch what I say. I guess also motherhood has changed me. It's difficult to talk about the crusties in my panties when my son is begging me for a suckle on my tits. Times change, people change. I sure did.
And so it's time for me to sadly end this column of buttering muffins and taco warmers. Time to pass the torch.
Adios folks! I'm going to miss you!
Matsume, Signing Off