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[Ask Mats]: Second Chances

Feb 12, 2015

Matsume darling,

Well. Well, Well…

I met this guy in the most inconvenient and unconvincing situation while I was hosting and he was having fun. Oooh, he's a swedeheart -- we had funny conversations, we brunched, we massaged, dated, dinner-ed, movie-d...everything was actually great -- even the sex was boringly good -- until someone passed away in his family, then he went missing and I went coo-coo.

I know I shouldn't have complained, given the fact that after a few weeks of "therapy" and a "holiday on the island of lost man" he still came back to me. As it happened, I had to move to Hong Kong for my post-grad and when he finally came to Hong Kong for a business trip, we met up after two months of not talking to each other.

We met up, and did everything else you know. And literally I mean everything. And then when he had to go again, and I slapped him for leaving. On the tiny island of Hong Kong, under the dim moonlight, I slapped the man I care about so much, cause I thought he was just using me for sex.

Ooooh Mats, but I miss him. I miss hanging out with him. Truth is, he's the best date I've had in years. He'd laugh at my dumb jokes, he'd buy me ice-cream whenever I was upset. I could talk to him about... I don't know -- so many things -- heterosexuality, metrosexuality, homosexuality, sapiosexuality. We used to run around town on his tiny little scooter and he'd joke about how I occupied 80% of the seat. And I had to slap him away.

So. Should I ask the most stupid question ever? How do I get him back? Because I want him back. Despite all the odds, I'm moving back to where he is, and I want him back.


Dear SC,

Oh, of course you can ask stupid questions! Stupid questions are my specialty! You have no idea how many stupid questions are clogging up my inbox. Most of them I turn away, some of them I save for when I'm drunk, and some of them I save to my computer when I'm sober to keep myself out of trouble! Love makes fools of us all.

So, you got yourself a beautiful golden retriever of a man who not only dined you, but massaged you, teased you in sweet ways only a confident man can, and even soothed you when you were moody. He left when there was a sudden and serious death in his family. And you slapped him becaaaaaaauuuuse????

You got me there, girl. Either you're some hot tempered Latina or fiery Asian scorpion, but who slaps a poor retriever away when they're only trying to please? Let me hand you my drama queen of the year trophy. Jesus woman, the guy missed you, he really likes you, but someone died in his family so, yeah, he had to get his shit together for a while. Give the guy a break will yeah???

And now you want him back.

Now, do you see why my email account is always flooded with questions? God knows what he sent over!

Darling, if you want him back, your options are clear: grovel, apologize, send him flowers, dine him, massage him, and even buy him ice cream when he's moody.

He'll come back to you. Or he won't. But that's all you can do to try.

No such thing as stupid questions, maybe. Only questions we ourselves already know the answers to...