Dear Magic Monkey,

White chocolate Kit Kats?!!! What? I've obviously been out of the loop for a while! Nothing like licking white chocolate from a freshly shaved pussy -- hint hint:) I promise to shower first!

European-sized condoms? What do you mean? What about Canadian-sized or American-sized or even better African-sized!

Mind you, the last guy I was with from Nigeria was well-endowed but only in the length department! Man! He kept hitting my pelvic bone and it was painful. I must say, for me its all about the girth!

No actually, forget length, forget girth, it's the way you use it! The way you move, oh, the way you griiiiiiiiiinnnnnd, ah, the way you pump, oooohhhh, the way you thrust, oh god don't stop! The way you......

I'm done, get off me, eww your too sweaty, get off, zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Ok, let's focus, big sized condoms.

Only place I know is Sogo in the Fresh Mart. You know the shopping mall next to Jing'an Temple? Well, downstairs in the basement they have a supermarket called "Fresh Mart." In there they have the BIG condoms. I think Trojan makes 'em. Smart boys. They come in a black box with, of course, a picture of a horse in the front. Ha!

I'm sure other western supermarkets will have them but that's the only place I've seen them at. Good luck big boy and don't forget that mama can always teach you how to put one on!