Hey girl,
I gotta say I love your articles. So basically I'm complicated.
Hah. Let's see I'm seeing this guy, crazy, funny... crazy. Italian. I love spending time with him but he's complicated. He recently broke up with his ex who did what the stereotypical Shanghainese does: wanted him to marry her, buy a house, and sent him on a merry chase, ransacked his apartment, stole his money... the list goes on. He's pretty bitter about this, especially since it was a long relationship.
Anyway, he's always flaking on me which I blame on his occupation -- he's a chef and things just come up. And sometimes he'll say I love you... or I really like you, then turn around and say, "No, I'm Italian, don't believe what I say." What do I do? It almost feels like he's playing mind games with me. I just want to date, and have fun, and I told him, just relax and enjoy what we have now.
We had dinner during the holidays at a friend's restaurant and she asked him oh, so how long have you been together, then looks at me and I stare at her blankly and shake my head. She then stares at him and he says, “Oh, we're just friends”.
If I wanted a fuck-buddy I would've found one with less baggage. But now I'm stuck and I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
Help please!
K
Dear K,
Well, it doesn't sound complicated to me! Dump his Parmesan sniffin’ ass!
Good lord! Dump. This. Man.
Duuuuuuuump hiiiiiiiim.
He's too complicated! Who needs complicated when us women are complicated enough.
But what he says is true, he is Italian, so when he tells you he loves you, he means he “loves” you. …Like his sister, maybe. My closest Italian friends are passionate and affectionate people, and I can see how other people would take this the wrong way -- the over the top affection, the dramatic compliments, the passionate stares. This is who they are. This is why I love ‘em. But if you’re someone who gets confused or excited too easily, I'd move on to the next nationality.
But one thing you said confuses me. You said you told the guy you just wanted to date and have fun. But then you’re getting all choked up because he said to your friend you guys were just friends. Talk about sending mixed messages. Maybe its time for him to move on. Sounds like you’ve fallen for this guy… that’s not good.
But that's my advice. Dump him.
And as this answer's a bit short so I'll throw in an Italian joke just to make up for the space.
*
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is caught when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses -- they come together again.
I come again.
And pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorts the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down, lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."
Lol! ...Am I the only one laughing?
Tags: Sex, Romance, Rejection, Love, Girlfriend, Expats, Break-up, Boyfriend
Do you have any question you need the answer to? Have questions you are afraid to ask your friends, partner, or your family? Ask Matsume for any advice, be it sexual, beauty tips, where to find certain items, handy hints ... you can ask Matsume anything, no question is too big or small. Share your questions so others like you may learn. 
