WORST Flyers of 2008
Perfect crimes against photoshop in 2008 - By Morgan Short, Jan 06, 09
In sifting through 2000-odd pages of events listings looking for the best event flyers of the year, it occurred to me that the very worst of the bunch deserved special recognition as well.
Herein that follows are the shittiest event flyers of 2008.
But, hey wait a minute, don't send in your angry emails just yet -- no ill-will is intended here to any of you fine, fine clubs (*cough* *cough* advertisers *cough*) and graphic designer types.
By "shitty" I really mean "awesome."
Like Chronicles of Riddick. Or the majority of Nick Cage's catalogue.
Lipstick + Sun Shine [sic] @ 789 (Feb. 1)
At first glance this is a pretty run-of-the-mill terrible flyer featuring, as it does, semi-nude models jacked from some internet soft core porn site. Then when you look closer you can see it's for a "tanning party" and so maybe it wasn't such a good idea to photoshop that glow in around the models, making them look radioactive.
Vanity Goes Five-O @ Attica (Jan. 10)
Oh Attica. Sexy police dress-up parties are pretty standard and there's a wealth of material to steal on the internet to make your flyer look hot, hot, hot.
That's why I don't know why they went with a busted Russian prostitute in a police-themed unitard and a police car that looks like it's driven around by Max Headroom.
Seven Sins @ MAO (Jan. 31)
If you don't want anyone to come to your party, one trick you might try would be to put the grossest orgy ever on your flyer.
Models & Bottles @ Park 97 (Nov 14)
And the award for "Worst Use of the Olsen Twins in 2008 on a Flyer" goes to...
Metrozine Web Launch Party @ Club LC (Mar. 7)
Wait a minute, you say your party has flamenco dancers, some dude with records, and an old-timey magician?
Surely you jest.
Celine Dion @ Shanghai Stadium (Apr. 11)
This flyer sucks because Celine Dion is on it.
Bulldog Madness @ The Bulldog (Every Wed.)
I like The Bulldog. It's a great bar. I like drinking there.
I don't know if I want to get tanked with babies though.
Spank @ Shanghai Studio (Oct. 11)
Holy Super Christ, if you're doing a party dedicated to sexual deviancy, don't put toddlers on your flyers.
Especially toddlers dressed to theme.
Summer BBQ Cornucopia @ Somewhere in Pudong (Jul. 27)
This dude in the pink shirt has a fucking magical barbeque and its spewing all kinds of fun shit.
Look he's got tongs too.
How you gonna flip that daiquiri, brah?
Pervert @ MAO (Jul. 19)
Too much.
Much, much, much too much.
Summer Opening Party @ The Villa (Jul. 19)
Wait a second! I never even noticed...
Yeah, now that you mention it, the Oriental Pearl TV Tower does kind of look like a cock!
Note the semen actually splashing on to the title of the venue.
It's all in the details...
Guy Williams @ Attica (Jan. 19)
It's funny, I've never heard of "The Shanghai Times" but they got quite the scoop on their hands with the exclusive on DJ Guy Williams' DJ biography.
Pervert @ MAO (Apr. 19)
¡
Love Summer @ Bar Rouge (Jul. 19)
I can't imagine two people I would least like to spend time with at a bar than the duo pictured left. Look at them... revolting.
Acrobat Show @ M2 (Mar. 29)
Okay. Acrobat show at M2. That's pretty neat. But hey hang on a minute. Is that image in the center from Michael Jackson's Moonwalker?
Why yes it is... I know because I saw that fucker on IMAX with my mum in like 1974.
We Are One @ GPlus (Sept. 27)
Trance kids... maybe it's time to lay off those pills. Just maybe.
Cool Look and Mattia Farewell Party @ MAO (Jun. 21)
It doesn't actually matter who the fuck Mattia is, I've had this gem saved as my computer background for the last six months because I'm trying to solve the mystery of what that red line is on his back.
Mattia, gimme a call and we'll hang. You look like a super fun guy.
And finally I leave you with a triptych of the finest I Love Shanghai events posters of 2008.
We salute you I Love Shanghai, for raising the bar of the graphic arts to unparalleled levels of radness.
Excelsior!
***
ISpyShanghai.com
Jan 06, 09
the point is that it's funny, and if you don't spank a puppy on the nose it will never learn.
musique
Jan 06, 09
i'm fed up with smartshanghai which pretends that only a bunch of people are doing interesting thing in Shanghai (Shelter, STD, Antidote...)
best flyer of 2008: almost all of them are Shelter and associated ... these people are doing great but hey! watch around you!
Crumpets
Jan 06, 09
Dear Musique. Relax, darling. Did you read the intro? The writer says right in the intro:
By "shitty" I really mean "awesome."
These are flyers that people remember because they DO have impact, whether because the people in them are ridiculously gorgeous, slutty, or the photoshopping is laughable.
Do you really think people will stop going to Mao or Bar Rouge because of an article noting the humour in the ads?? No way! Any press is good press, and hotties will always draw barflies, regardless of the opinion of one person at SmartShanghai. Lighten up and take it for what it is: harmless humour.
seachick
Jan 06, 09
darl musique, tough life in shanghai? light up a lil, would u?
psinology
Jan 06, 09
It's all about the tabs/drops/microdots Morgan. Pills are sooooooo 90's, completely pass¨¦ dahling.
:)
jingsheng76
Jan 06, 09
I was with that couple in Bar Rouge and to be honest they were quite pleasant. Paris IS very happy, Morgan. Hang on¡ªmy magical barbeque is acting up again...
d-milan
Jan 06, 09
Thanks, thanks, thanks!!!
Thanks to Morgan for 4 nomination of my flyers on 15!!!
Am I the winner of the contest? Wow! what's about the prize?
Can I claim as prize a brand new Q5 card? (still exist???)
I love it!!!!
Anyway, the guy (Mattia) is MAO's shareholder and Marketing Manager.
The little boy in SPANK!'s flyer is real and, trust me, it's the only two years old little boy in this world never been spanked (lucky him).
About Pervert's flyers... oh com'on guys!!! If we are Pervert what should we do? May you can not believe but you missed things like hardcore nun or similar just because somebody around MAO still can see a little light... sometime :-)
Again, love you!!!
djsexypaul
Jan 07, 09
fucking loved it, laughed my ass off, especialy at the Muse and bar Rouge crapola incoperating the olsons and Micheal jackson.........great stuff
Keep it up Morgy
tommyb7
Jan 07, 09
I was kind of agreeing with Musique's point (there's too much reverse-snobbery in Shanghai) but then I read d-milan's response and reverse-snobbery made a whole lot more sense!!!!
enron666
Jan 07, 09
Jajaja Vice magazine Style but really Hilarious.
For the upset guys...get some humor sense ;)
rob.r
Jan 07, 09
Those complaining that Shelter, STD and Antidote parties got off lightly on the Worst list have to remember that the promoters of said parties are all un/under-employed graphic designers.
chinaman
Jan 07, 09
If I was doing my PHd dissertation, I would do a study on the correlation of best/worst flyers and attendance at the party and money spent. Then I would probably find, it was the parties who didn't even make flyers to begin with that took in the most...
I didn't get admitted into the PHd program...
musique
Jan 07, 09
i wasnt really complaining about this flyer list coz actually they are all laughable. i'm just angry against the website as they always edit the texts in favor of some "local superheroes" friends or bad texts for those who are not.... and all the contents are folowing the same rules. but i think i'm a bit utopist on this one: nobody said medias were independants and objectives...
Cunning Linguist HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Wonder if that fella Tio got his piece of wood nicely blown. She probably vomited...making a sound like BUKA KKE FFFPHEWT!!
rob.r
Jan 07, 09
@musique - I wasn't really being serious. Except for the part about the unemployed graphic designers.
Kiwib
Jan 07, 09
Ahahaha - Celine Dion is rubbish.
ISpyShanghai.com
Jan 08, 09
I hate that Celine Dion flyer because when I saw it, I couldn't help but feel a slight stirring in my loins.
I was glad when the concert was over and I stopped seeing that poster, hadn't felt that guilty since I masturbated over "The Color Purple".
pickles
Jan 12, 09
Re: Musique "i'm just angry against the website as they always edit the texts in favor of some "local superheroes" friends or bad texts for those who are not...." "i'm a bit utopist on this one: nobody said medias were independants and objectives."
Why does having an opinion you don't agree with necessarily indicate that SmartShanghai is neither "independent" nor "objective"??? They are IN FACT one of the ONLY media that is NOT arse-whipped by advertisers. Notice they're not full of "advertorial"? That's because they're NOT sucking anybody's you-know-what.
If you disagree with the opinions of the site, read something else, or start your own "independent" site. Don't go slandering them as not "independent" or "objective" just because they aim for an audience, sometimes, that is different from you.
What media -- or business of any kind, especially in China where guanxi reigns king -- is NOT at least slightly swayed by friendships? At least Smart is not entirely swayed by money alone.
Entirely objective media does not exist. We all have bills to pay, and a target audience. Smart's providing nourishment for those of us who are tired of reading advertorial. If you want advertiser-based BS, look somewhere else. Anywhere else, really...
lucas78
Jan 15, 09
no comments.
Meechy
Feb 17, 09
I know it's not necessarily along the same vein of club/bar fliers...but the Dragon Fly Spa flier/ad should get at least an honorable mention! You know the one. The hairy jewish looking guy waxing his own chest...with the look on this face that he's getting way too turned on by ripping the hair off his chest! All while holding his hand out for them to try to photoshop a Dragonfly on it...which ended up all to translucent. So it just looks like he's holding his hand up in mid air like, "you like this?...you know you want it" ...he secretly scares me. Please tell me I'm not the only one that has been hysterically laughing at his ad sitting alone in the back of cabs!
mcreates
Mar 14, 09
Well done smart! Creatively ghastly pieces of crap!!!!! F* hicksville suburbia trash done by a pile of ugly-friendly try-hards, wannabe organisers/marketing janitors that try to impress with paraplegic skills showing everyone how good they wipe their own butts because they can't afford normal ad & design professionals. Cheap quality state of the f*arts is sad.. but funny indeed!
mavii
Jun 19, 09
haaaahahaha....
I think Mattia has made my day
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musique
Jan 06, 09