[My Weekender] with SATAN

Prada? Actually I'm more of a Gucci kind of guy... - Oct 30, 09

Satan (Hebrew: השָׂטָן ha-Satan ("the accuser"); Arabic: الشيطان al-Shaitan ("the adversary") -- both from the Semitic root: Ś-Ṭ-N) is an embodiment of antagonism that originates from the Abrahamic religions, being traditionally considered an angel in Judeo-Christian belief, and a Jinn in Islamic belief. Originally, the term was used as a title for various entities that challenged the religious faith of humans in the Hebrew Bible.

Since then, the Abrahamic religions have used "Satan" as a name for the Devil.

He also does a weekly at LOgO.

It's been a really busy week down here in on the ninth plane of hell -- fiery abyss, penitentiary of the damned, and infernal prison of lost souls -- because we've only just relocated the Julu Lu bars down here, and we're still doing lots of construction to bring down all the Tongren Lu places by oh say... late November or so.

All I have to say is this: Never work with local contractors, what a nightmare. But you know what they say... no rest for the wicked!

My weekend! Do I even get a weekend? When you're in the business of spreading evil, torment, and misery to all mankind -- and Shanghai especially -- the weekend is pretty much the busiest time of the week. What can I say, though. It's the career I chose and I¡¯ll be damned if I would have it any other way.

On most weeks my weekend starts on Wednesday with after work drinks at Lounge 18. It's a great place to chill out with some colleagues and just unwind -- usually I head down with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, or just whoever is around the office... arch demons, wraiths, whatever, it's all good. After knocking back some mojitos, we usually end up at M1NT for their new weekly Wednesday party -- what can I say, I'm a member.

Thursdays are usually a haze for me, and most of the time I'm just sitting on my giant fucking throne in Hell pretending to be working when really I'm just checking Facebook. I like Facebook, but I find the invasion of privacy a little intrusive. I spent all last week un-tagging myself from a photo album that Jeffrey Dahmer uploaded of me passed out with marker all over my face saying "I (Heart) Jesus". Satan has an image to maintain. I can't let that shit leak out all over the web...

My Thursday nights are all about four words: One. Wellness. Gym. Membership. You can find me there every Thursday night blastin' my glutes and pecs. Gotta stay fit. It's also a great way to meet girls. And guys. Satan likes it all -- you know how I do.

All day Friday is paper work and meetings with lawyers. I'm keeping the business going, looking for new opportunities to expand (Suzhou project in the works), and just generally taking care of my shit, you know. Nothing too special about it.

Friday afternoon is when it starts. Hitler texts me at 5:30pm every week like clockwork: "Hey Satan what you saying this weekend? Let's get fuuuuucked up and score some hoes!"

I kill the last few hours at work surfing the web for videos of people getting hit in the nuts and shit, and then I check what's on SmartShanghai. It's a totally convenient webpage. You might even say, it's like my "bible" of what's going on in Shanghai. This Friday I'm going to Costes for their "Devilishly Costes Halloween Party". They just signed a big advertising deal in Hell, you know how it is. When you're in my line of work business is pleasure, pleasure is business, and you gotta maintain appearances.

Saturday is my b-day! Yay! I don't know what I'm really going to do yet though... That is, I don't know what I'm going to do after all-you-can-eat Japanese, which is like a Friday ritual with me. There's a party I'm invited to, but it's going to be a bunch of French guys so I don't know if I'll go. I get enough French people at work, you know?

I have to stop by The Shelter to collect on a contact with Gaz and Gary -- those guys are due. And then I don't know what... I'll play it by ear. Late night I'm guaranteed to be at Dragon and then City Diner though. Every weekend I vow it's going to be different but it never is...

Sundays are my days for loose ends. Usually, I update the software in the Great Firewall, close down a few DVD shops, or raise the prices on burgers in restaurants in Shanghai. Then I kick back with a DVD at the crib. I'm on the second season of Ugly Betty.

But I'll see you out there, Shanghai! You guys have a great Halloween!

XOXOX,
Satan

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