Dildos Dildos Dildos
The Finest in Foreign Fake Cockery Now Available in Shanghai - By Morgan Short, Dec 19, 07
You know you've made all the right choices in life when you find yourself slugging back free Gee and Tees, front row centre at a designer dildo runway show. Last Wednesday, it was the posh, white-leathered interiors of Maneo that played backdrop to Bloomnine's exclusive line of erotic brands, creating an atmosphere of willful and jubilant decadence of the very caliber that brought down Imperial Rome.
With the gin fizz from my seventh free drink winkling my nose and another model emerging from behind the partition -- clutching gingerly in her fingers a delightfully frilly, feather-ended dildo no less -- I imagined Shanghai engulfed in flames, subject to the righteous wrath of the Visigoth hordes. It was impossible to resist the onset of a private, self-satisfying shit-eating grin.
There were four models in all, trotting out some 40 dildos to the collective oo's, ah's and oh my's of the about 50 in attendance. A wide range of "exclusive" styles were represented: plucky, little, butt-plugish numbers from the Swedes, pomp and frill from French designers, arty sobriety from the Aussies, serious bits of business from the Koreans, and the centerepiece of the show, a construction of considerable merit and international accolade simply known as "The Cone." But more on that later.
During the show the SmartShanghai team -- three deep for the occasion, and at that point already three sheets to the wind -- had a chance to sit down with the man behind Bloomnine, an affable Dutch fellow (well of course he's Dutch) by the name of Teun Overeem. Overeem elucidated that he had a bone to pick with China's dildo market, explaining that for the discerning customer of erotic products, there just weren't any proper bones to pick. He decried the overly clinical aspect of the sex shops in the PRC, not to mention the overall poor quality craftsmanship of Chinese fake cocks. Of course, one would be hard pressed to disagree with him. A cursory glance at the selection in your local sex toys shop reveals an army of big, floppy neon pink and green dildos, boring little silver bullets and garish, double-ended, veiny behemoths... Ghastly. It's all just so '80s isn't it? Overeem explained to my German colleague that the erotic toys you find in Chinese dildo stores are manufactured domestically but intended for an overseas kink market. But what of the real, modern woman? That new breed of jet set masturbators?
Aye, and there's the rub. Bloomnine's business plan is simple: fill the void. Fill that enormous gap in the Chinese... market. Offer dildos and erotic toys crafted with high quality (non-toxic) materials, using the latest technologies and the most innovative designs. Overeem (who incidentally has a background in glass blowing, come on, how perfect is that) explained that his target market is the modern woman, sexually open-minded and given to attending boozy sex toy parties with a group of girlfriends.
Luckily for us, a member of the SmSh team happened to be a forward-thinking, (post)modern female and could enlighten us all as to the woman's perspective: "Yes, indeed, I would purchase a dildo from this man. They all seem quite handsome actually."
So what about this "Cone" then? Obviously, the standout piece The Cone was, yes, cone-shaped, made of a silicone material and featured two buttons. One button causes the item to vibrate and the second enables this vibration to vary to a dizzying sixteen different settings. Also, when you're jacked into the thing and have it going full tilt, the original "on" button is re-coordinated as "The Orgasm Button," and you're meant to jam on that sucker right when you're about to... you know. Overeem explained that originally the item was intended as an S&M toy but during the testing it was discovered that The Cone just "felt too good." With the exception of your die-hard S&Mers, now The Cone appears to be up everyone's alley - - far, far, far up these alleys - - going on to win international acclaim and accolade. It's even begun outselling "The Rabbit," which as you very well know was a hot little item after being featured on some crap show called "Sex & The City." Here's what Mayfair had to say about The Cone: "It will have you rocking, humping and gyrating like a slag in a nightclub." Like a slag in a nightclub! Very nice.
And it
shanghai.simon
Dec 20, 07
The Bloomnine launch at Maneo was great. It was my first time at Maneo, and I think I'll be back to try dining there. The launch party itself was sexy and fun. Lots of great people and of course, a slightly naughty energy in the air ;-) As for the toys, well, Shanghai is definitely in need of these products! The toys in the typical government sanctioned health shops are horrid! When Lelo launched their new line earlier this year at Velvet Lounge, it was like, hallelujah! Now that Bloomnine is carrying not only Lelo, but several other brands of sophisticated, quality sex toys, Shanghai-ers finally have a place (virtually anyways) to go to fill their toy chests. My girlfriend and I have a Lelo LIV and a Soju Sugar, and they are definitely worth the money ;-) It would be awesome if Bloomnine would be able to import the Kama Sutra line of erotic massage oils and especially the honey dust. Now, would it be too much to ask to see Lingerie and Me and Bloomnine put on a combined show? One can dream :-P
Stevedave
Dec 21, 07
Morgan, how the fuck did you not invite me to this one. I am thinking of revoking friend status...
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