California Pizza Kitchen, a mass-market pizza chain popular in the US, closed their only mainland China store on Sunday evening. The company was known for an exceedingly tolerant attitude towards toppings; in recent months, CPK scored a breakthrough by actually offering "cheese pizza" as a pizza topping. But, it appears, the insatiable drive to put ever crazier shit on a pizza has stressed the company's Fusion Research Department.

In a statement fabricated by SmartShanghai, a corporate executive apologized for the company's exuberant fusion topping policy. "It started with shrimp and mangoes," said the exec, speaking anonymously because he was not authorized to comment to the news media. "You've got to understand. It was the 1980's, California, everyone was drunk on the possibilities."


But, he went on to say, "It got out of control. At the end, we were experimenting with ice creams, sub-Saharan yam pastes, and harissa. On one pizza. It was too much. The pizza-as-a-pizza-topping was the final straw. That's when we knew we'd gone too far. We couldn't know until we'd crossed it, of course, but there was some kind of moral line. It appears we crossed it. Sorry about that."

The Shanghai Centre location was open for five years. The master franchisee will come to Shanghai this year to explore the possibilities of re-opening CPK in other locations.