UPDATE, 6.07pm: Idiots didn't give the bottle back in time. I think they drank it. Back to the cop shop for Cantina.

If you were in Cantina Agave Sunday night around 11pm, and you're in either of these pictures, you're fucked. (Click the links!)

Some idiots -- glorious idiots! -- yoinked a bottle of booze off the shelf, hid it under their jacket, and walked out. Here's the kicker, you stupid, stupid idiots: that bottle you woke up with this morning -- because hopefully you didn't drink it already -- is worth 21,000rmb. It's a Special Edition Grand Marnier something. There are like two other bottles in China, and you idiots -- phenomenal idiots! -- were caught on Cantina's security video slipping it out of the taco shop.

Guess who's been watching that today? The police. They've also been looking at the imprint of the credit card your friends paid for your meal with. Geez, you're dumb.

So, here's the deal. Cantina wants their bottle back. Co-owner Kelley Lee called just now to relay the story, and said that if you return it, unopened, by 6pm tomorrow today, Tuesday, Feb 23, Cantina will consider calling off all this pain-in-the-ass police stuff. If you don't, well, then you're basically fucked. Start packing your bags, cuz your China Adventure is over, kids.

Here's their number, stupid.

Email me here if you want Kelley's mobile to do this all in private.