[Tested]: All of JSquared's New Spa Treatments
Sailing into 2022 with new face, nails, abs, and ass!
JSquared Has New Treatments! Huzzah!
Shanghai's best-est and most wonderful-est GUYS-only, queer-friendly spa space has grown from their little, two-room operation in a lane off Wanhangdu Lu to three venues in Shanghai now, with their latest one in Jing'an. JSquared is offering a few new treatment packages which you should totally check out because they are cheap and amazing and life-fixing.
SmartShanghai sent me to test out these new treatments because I am the Senior Spa Correspondent at this website and not because I'm a crooked, selfish prick who hoards all the free spa articles for himself.
I'm the expert. I know exactly what I'm talking about.
That's just how it is.
Four Treatments to Fix Your Uniquely Terrible Situation
My dudes, if you haven't been to JSquared yet you should check it out because it's a warm and bubbly and personable and welcoming kind of spa experience hosted by one lovely guy named "J" and also another lovely guy called "J".
At their Jing'an location, they can help you fix up and / or pamper your body and / or soul with four treatments: Hair Removal for your entire body if you want (the painless, freezing-the-root kind); Skin and Scalp Care, which is basically a wondrous 10-step facial using French brand Gemolgy, Healthcare, which is their electromagnetic pulse machines that target and break down your fat cells in specific areas; and their in-house style Manicure, which is a manicure but a very great one... for men.
SmartShanghai previously tried out their Hair Removal, which we wrote about right here. And then we (me!) went back for all three of the other ones.
Here I Am with My Shirt Off Again
And you're welcome, Shanghai!
Okay, so this is the Healthcare treatment, and one of two electropulse machines that they have to target muscle and break down fat in various problem areas on your body. Take a guess where my problem area is!
These electro pulse machines are like THE NEW THING in the spa biz. (Trust me.) JSquared has the Alura brand of this machine from 'Murica. Baisally it's a non-invasive body-sculpting procedure that delivers high-intensity focused electromagnetic energy pulses to the muscle tissue to cause contractions.
A lot of contractions. Very, very quickly.
Depending on the intensity you choose, of course, but each session is like 20,000 muscle contractions in a half an hour.
So... What the What?
So, yeah, they just hook this paddle up to you and it sends a low-level shock that hits you right in the ab muscles.
It feels like you're doing a ton of sit-ups but you're not in control of it. Like a ghost has taken over your body and is doing sit-ups for you.
It's like a very, very intense abs workout in a very short amount of time. In terms of results, it works best for people who are almost at their ideal point and are looking for that extra contouring and definition. And it works best if you do more than one session.
What separates JSquared from the other spas around town that are offering similar treatments? The price. Trust me, this treatment is not cheap. But it's waaaaaay cheaper here than anywhere else (sorry ladies). So if this is something you're looking into trying, you should get in touch with them and check out their package options.
Hook Me Up to More Machines Please!
Oh, here we go.
This is another elctropulse machine they have as part of the Healthcare package that you're meant to sit on and it works to... how to put this...I have to get this just right.
I'll let it speak for itself:
Using electropulse technology it "reshape(s) the sphincter to achieve the effect of tightening the perianal."
"Improves the male prostate function, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and other problems."
So, let's just say you're a guy who's been taking everything life has been throwing at you.
Perhaps you need to tighten up down there? This machine will help you tighten up. Down there.
Am I a guy who's been taking everything life has been throwing at me?
Oh, you better believe it.
Hook. Me. The fuck. Up!
I have not the words.
So in the same way the last machine was like thousands of sit-ups, this one is like thousands of Kegel excercizes. It's also like...
Shock! Shock! Shock!
Shock! Shock! Shock!
...But instead of into your abs, the electromagnetic shock is going right into...to use medical terminology, your sweet, sweet, sweeeet ASS.
Not going to lie, it was wondrous. Loved it. I took the machine all the way up to 100, the max setting. And you wouldn't believe the compliments I was getting all the next week about my new, streamlined sphincter definition!
AHH! I'M KIDDING!
But yeah, look into it. And see if it's something for you. I'm just here to tell you JSquared has the machine. And is offering packages which make them a way cheaper option that comparable services at other locations.
Woof! Time for a Facial
JSquared offers a 10-step, French originating, Gemology facial, like the one at The Middle House, but very much cheaper. It's super involved. Basically, depending on what you're looking to work on -- anti-aging, mositurizing, purifying, brightening -- I'm looking to work on all of that -- you choose a gem, and the first thing is they embue it's essence into your face.
I'm rocking the "Tourmalina" gem here and it's "increasing skin-elasticity and activating micro-circulation."
Let's Get Wet
Next they go in with a hydrafacial, which is a medical-grade hydradermabrasion therapy with a three-part regimen — cleansing, exfoliating, and then infusing skin with intensive serums.
This approach vacuums out pores while simultaneously pushing in potent actives, which moisturize, brighten, plump, and protect.
I don't know what was happening here because they covered by eyes but check it out: you can see the bad vibes just cascading out of my face in this picture.
2022's gonna be OUR YEAR, my friends!
Why Yes I Would Like a Manicure Thank You
Look at J's nails! Cute! I want some!
Talking About MANicures...
Via their all-male staff, JSquared offers manicures "customized for men", which is great because I use these man hands to do man things every damn day!
So many man things. So much man stuff.
Like... chopping things... opening jars... giving people sturdy and reliable handshakes. That sort of shit.
JSquared used imported products and equipment like Matsuke, G3, and LCN.
The Glow Up
It's a lengthy process of cleaning, sanding, blasting, sculpting, shaping, shellacking, all with a very, very fine attention to detail. My nail technician went about his work -- the Lord's work, really -- with the minute craftsmanship of a watchmaker.
Gloria Swanson Chic
I wanted something like "faded Hollywood". Something heavy and grand and suggestive of bygone glory.
Something, "Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up!"
Hey, it's a mood.
Let's Talk Prices!
So, to reiterate, JSquared has four services at their new Jing'an venue for great prices.
But that's not all.
For SmartShanghai readers, they are offering even further discounts up to 60% off for the first-timers for a limited time (until March!).
For a simple manicure, it is 298rmb (value 680rmb). Laser hair removal for one body area is 198rmb (value 328rmb). For the fat blasting Heathcare it is 598rmb per session. (value 998rmb). The Gemology Facial is 598rmb (value 998rmb).
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