One of the main problems in Beijing, besides the pollution and the traffic, is that Sauron -- the Dark Lord of Mordor, the Unblinking Eye Wreathed in Flame, the Terrible Dread, the Nameless Enemy, The Deceiver, Forger of the Ring of Power, Lord of Barad-Dûrm, the Abhorred, Architect of the Downfall of Man -- is always trying to get up in your face and mess with your shit. Beijing problems: pollution, traffic, Sauron. Not necessarily in that order. For the pollution, you can get an air filter. For the traffic, maybe get a scooter or something. For the Sauron, you've got to get to Jian Club and work on your archery skills. Jian Club -- it's a new cafe, cocktail bar, and archery range right in Sanlitun SOHO, aka The Center of the Universe. It's on the basement level. Head down the stairs and take a right. Yes, that's correct, an archery range plus alcohol. What? This is pretty neat. It looks like this: It's open daily from 11am to midnight. Prices are oriented to members (see the chalkboard below) but walk-ins are accommodated for 120rmb an hour. They have all the stuff you need -- bows, arrows, gloves, and this song playing on the radio. Serious. No even joking.

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Jian Club has a few on-site Legolas'esess who are able to coach you on proper technique if you've never done any archery before. I've seen Lord of the Rings like 900 times, but can you believe I've never killed so much as even one orc before. That's some bullshit. The coaches speak English, Chinese, and Elvish. This is my coach right here. She was super nice. Keep your back straight, legs apart, use three fingers, shut your left eye, and look through the sight thing with your right. My own innovation is to swing my beer gut out for balance. Eye on the prize. Butter. So, yes, they have a bar too, replete with graffiti decoration done by the local ABS crew. They're serving up a fairly alright range of classic cocktails, with a few specials thrown in, priced at around the 40rmb range. Local beers and a few fancy coffees on offer as well. I recommend going with 12 White Russians. So, back to the gear. They have all kinds of zany professional bows and things, but I'm not going to pretend like I know what I'm talking about on that front, suffice it to say, I think Walking Dead Daryl would be down. Classic Mongolian hordes stuff right here. That's about it really. Jian club -- good, clean fun out in Sanlitun, where they invented the very concept "good, clean fun". They're set up for people who are new to archery but if you want to put some effort into it, the membership programs come with training sessions, and they're looking to have competitions in the future. Also, booze is involved, eh! Saaaaafe. Jian Archery Club is at B1-308, Mall 3, Sanlitun SOHO. Get to the bottom level and look for a sign that says "Ares is Coming". They're open daily from 11am to midnight.