We've drizzled this sentiment into most things we've written this year, but it bears repeating: if there was ever a year for learning to let go of negative emotions, this has been it.
Some people turn to religion. Some to the gym. Some turn to drink. And some people lock themselves in a room with a printer and a sledgehammer and really examine their feelings.
Presenting: Demon&Angel, a small concrete box in Hongkou for addressing your anger problems.
The Chinese name for these sorts of places (there are a couple around town) is "vent rooms" (fa xie wu, 发泄屋) but I prefer "Rage Rooms." Demon& Angel is a Rage Room, for Rage people to do Rage things. For 148rmb per person (if you buy on Dianping), they'll let you imagine your problems are beer bottles, and address them in the only way that makes sense anymore: with a bat.
They'll even let you pick your own soundtrack. I am excited for this.
They strap you into a full-body suit, including metal padded booties, cut-resistant gloves, a construction helmet with a visor and a full aventail, like you're fitting to ride shotgun with Richard the Lionheart. It's hot and stuffy, but once it's on, you feel like you're ready to do some damage.
Your ticket comes with a crate of 30 bottles, and you can get an additional crate for like 30rmb. If you want to smash stuff like monitors, printers or a water dispenser, it costs extra, around 140-170rmb for each. They put you and your victim(s) in a concrete room, give you some basic safety instructions, lock the door, and crank up the volume.
Have. At. It.
Nearly having the dumbest World War.
Never getting to use the Tokyo 2020 logo.
This GOD. DAMN. VIRUS.
God, there aren't enough beer bottles in the world for me to pretend-smash everything that's messed up right now. I see that other ragers chose more prosaic stressors to manifest and then absolutely decimate with a sledgehammer.
Client Tony needs to watch his back. What's left of it. Let's turn this therapy thing up a notch...
It seems this printer (costing an extra 158rmb to mutilate) has some sort of a technical issue. It won't start. Shame! Fairly new model, just bought it, user-friendly interface...
Canon, it's a good brand! Can't find any external problems with it.
Let's take a look inside.
Found the issue! Faulty motherboard. Gosh, what bad luck. 2020, am I right?
I'm not sure what I did in that room made the world better, but I feel better, and that's good enough for me right now.
And that printer had it coming.
Demon&Angel is located at the end of Alley 5 at the LOFT International Sports Industry Park, 596 Tongxin Lu, near Jingxiang Lu / 同心路596号上海德必运动LOFT国际体育产业园5街区, 近景祥路.