Sweating and teetering on the peripheries of your Beijing entertainment calendar is the performance art of standup comedy. Loosely collected under the logo of Comedy Club China, Beijing comics have been gaining momentum and picking up numbers for the past few years now, and almost every week in the city a Beijing comedian somehow, in some naff bar, is trying to make people laugh. This Saturday night at the Cheers on Gulou Dong Dajie (that's the one across from the Temple/Dada middle finger to God), six comics are getting together for an evening of Champagne and sparkling laughter. Champagne and sparkling laughter. Sounds absolutely wonderful. If you've been following Beijing comedy, these names will be familiar to you as a collection of some of the most dedicated and talented guys performing on stages in this city. If you're new to standup, this is a good one to catch -- six different viewpoints, styles, and experiences angled around the same end-goal of making you laugh. And getting pissed on cheap champagne. Shit's like 40 kuai a bottle at Cheers, damn. Introducing the speakers: sitting at 12 o'clock in the blue and white shirt and then traveling clockwise around the table: Toby Jarman, Greg Hutt, Neil Fauerso, Gus Tate, Paul Creasy, and David Fertitta. ***

On coming up with material

Some of it I can sit down and write and work on it, but most of the time you just get an idea and then flesh it out. That usually happens when I'm talking to other people. Other human beings. I talk to people and then get ideas from the interaction. I think it's only happened to me one time when I was falling asleep and I had an idea that just came to me. Toby Jarman: Honestly, when you think of something funny you get a tingle. For me. Like tingles in my butt. Like, "Oh, that's funny". You can feel it. Neil Fauerso: Also, if you're doing a lot of standup and thinking a lot about your stand up -- this might be a bougie thing to say -- but you see the world like your interpreting it for what might be good material. Like, "Okay, can I make something out of this." You're more keyed into thinking like that. Paul Creasy: Also, just going to new places. When I go back to the UK, when I come back here… Toby Jarman: I think when you start doing stand up you switch a viewpoint from, "Oh, that's funny." To, "Oh, that will make people laugh." David Fertitta: It also comes down to hot streaks. Like playing baseball. You can go through a really good month or whatever of just seeing things that will make people laugh. Even if it's been something that's been buried in your head for a long time, you can bring it back and make it work. Neil Fauerso: Sometimes the universe collaborates with you. ****

On the process

Everyone has different rates of developing their material. Like Neil has a new joke every week. Gus is prolific. I go through spells when I write a lot of new stuff and two months. And then you bring it to the open mics and see if it works. I had a bout of like OCD a while back and when I find something that worked I used to just do it over and over again. I never write down my material -- most comedians write down their material. They type them out in full. I've always though that if I did that it would sound like I was reciting them on stage. Even if it was just a short thing. David Fertitta: I never write things down… Greg Hutt: Seriously? Never? How old are you? 26? Give yourself a few years and a few more of these [holds up champagne]. Toby Jarman: I make notes, but on the stage is where you develop it. On stage is where you work it out. But, Paul, I consider you one of the most hard working comics, like I don't know what you do to prepare or how much you prepare, but on stage it shows. I've never really seen you get flustered out there or stutter or anything... ****

On failure and bombing

It's always comes down to the most recent one. If you've done five good ones and the most recent is bad, you're always thinking, "Am I a comedian? Am I just a guy who just says thing?" Toby Jarman: When you bomb, how long does it take for you to get over it? Jesus, it's like four or five days... David Fertitta: It's used to take more. Now not so much. The worst show I ever did was the very first one. It was me and a Chinese magician. It was every red flag possible for a show. It was in a hotel lobby. It was a square mile in size. There was a grand piano on the stage that I could barely see over. So, I was like that guy from Home Improvement -- Wilson. You could only see the top of my head. Greg Hutt: [Laughs.] David Fertitta: The people that were there for comedy where there in the back. There was a football field of difference between the people that were there for comedy and the people that were there for magic. Nobody would move their seats closer. Two rows at the front were there for the magic and all our friends at the very back. An earlier comic had done a really horrible gay joke and there were two gay guys in the front who did not look happy. I was supposed to do ten minutes but I did five and got the fuck out of there. It was horrible [laughs]. Greg Hutt: The main question is though: How did the magician do? David Fertitta: He bombed! He fucking bombed! Neil Fauerso: I feel that when a magician bombs, real magic happens in the world. A miracle happens. That's when someone's, like, legs work again. ***

On bad crowds and hecklers

Sometimes you get crowds that are like, I don't know whey they showed up. Like, "We don't like anything that's happening here right now." David Fertitta: But even when it's bad [in Beijing], it doesn't get mean. Like people don't get mean. Even if they don't laugh they're still appreciative. We're sort of spoiled. There's no hecklers. Toby Jarman: Well, we had one situation last week where there was a guy there in the crowd doing what would be considered heckling. He wasn't screaming "you suck" or anything but he was contributing, you know. Just saying shit. And any unsolicited contributing just throws you off. And the comedian on stage took it to heart, and after he got off stage they got into it. But that was like the one time. We've just been so spoiled, you know. Any other place doing comedy, we would have to handle that because that's the thing. Paul Creasy: But, yeah, like why would you come to a comedy open mic and then heckle…

I got into stand up here after doing it in Portland, and I started the Hot Cat Open Mic night. That's my claim to fame. I'm never going to let that slide. Also "Beijing's Funniest Expat". City Weekend, 2011, I believe. I made business cards for that. I started doing comedy in Portland and there was a good scene out there, and when you start doing it, you get addicted to it. And moving to Beijing, there was just a void in Beijing. Some of it was going on at Tushuguan. Paul Creasy: Yes, Sean Gallagher, that was the first open mic in Beijing. Toby Jarman: Yeah, some stuff was happening at Tushuguan, but I wasn't tapped in with those guys. So, I went to a film festival at Hot Cat and saw the brick background on the stage and thought, "Oh, I can fuckin' do this…" Back when it first started, it was just getting people fuckin' to come up and try this out. We had like five people, but then it kept growing and we kept picking people up and now we just like hanging out with each other. For the most part, our entire scene is a clique. In Beijing, since it's pretty much the only one going, everyone is pretty positive. ****

On hacky Beijing material

Beijing, it's the well that you keep going back to. But with new guys, it's dangerous and they come with like, "Heyyyy, Chinese girls don't have boobs, right?" Hacky material -- anything with women and dating is my number one. Anything to do with dating, Chinese girls, you're fucking done. Davd Fertitta: The cocky white guy doing jokes about Chinese girls -- it's always just so unlikeable. "I've seen so many tits now.." The worst. Gus Tate: There's also the hacky Beijing material where you just name something that happens in Beijing and then shrug. "I was crossing the street and I saw these old ladies dancing and I was like whaaaat? Crazy." Paul Creasy: Crossing the street is another one. A lot of people do the one, "when you cross a street here you have to get behind a Chinese person". That's the one that goes around. I've seen about three comedians do that one. David Fertitta: My first open mic, I saw three different people do that joke. Toby Jarman: I've got one where getting into a crosswalk in Beijing is like getting into a double dutch jump rope. David Fertitta: [Laughs.] Well, that one's not so bad. ***

On taboo subjects

Absolutely. Absolutely. It's not for me, you just don't want to cause problems for other people. Get other people shut down or whatever. If I wasn't here, I would make a ton of jokes about the government and stupid shit. If I was home or somewhere else... Toby Jarman: But why are you not doing that? Greg Hutt: Because it's not about me. I know I can go home easy, but you can get other people's stuff shut down. Paul Creasy: It's different if you're performing in English, I think.

I don't joke about rape, for sure. Paul Creasy: We just did a show in Shanghai with one comedian who did almost exclusively rape jokes. It went horribly. Anyone else would have changed gears. That type of joke in the hands of an awful comedian is far worse than any other kind of joke. But people want to get a reaction and that's the direct way to do it. Gus Tate: If it was funny I would do it. Neil Fauerso: I don't fuck with rape jokes. David Fertitta: Everything can be funny though. Josh Malina did this joke about skull-fucking monks and it fucking kiiillled. Neil Fauerso: Well, I want to make a point. I agree with what David is saying, that anything can be funny, yeah, but for me, as a comedian, the vast majority of comedians are straight white males, and so it becomes, what are you bringing to the table then… Paul Creasy: Yeah, you can't really punch up a lot if you're a straight white male. Neil Fauerso: For me, what I bring to the table is everyone likes champagne. That's it. Sparkling laughter. And I want to do a show where you can bring a lady to this show and she wont be like, "Why did you bring me to this?" I don't have an ethical problem with dirty humor or anything, but it's not the type of comedy that I do. David Fertitta: It's the way you do it. Gus is dirty. Dirty. But he's smart and covers it up with long, well-constructed jokes, and then an animal noise [laughs]. Gus needs one more joke to do a full ten minute set of animal noises. Neil Fertitta: Hey, I'm smart too. And Gus is smart. And he looks like a teenager that's been stretched in a black hole but… Gus: [Laughs.] Greg Hutt: Black holes stretch you out? [Ed's Note: This launches a 20-minute debate on the physical properties of black holes. Picking it back up again after all that.] Neil Fauerso: You know, like, if you're going to do rape jokes, pedophilia jokes, its like the same thing as having people over to your house and going, "I'm making brains. I'm making cow brains." And they could be the bomb. People could be like, "these brains are good." But the thing is, most of the time you're having people over to your house and you're serving brains, they're going to be like, "Fuck YOU, why did you bring me here to this?" David Fertitta: What about if you sneak the brains in. Disguise them as lasagna… ***

On starting out:

I've been in Beijing four years. I started doing comedy about a year ago -- a year and change. I did it twice in Korea before and it went okay. It went okay, but not well. It was an open mike that was truly open, so most people just read poetry about the first time they got fingered or whatever. Bands and bad poetry [laughs]. I went up and I was shaking very badly, and I came up with the disclaimer, "Guys, this actually just might be spoken word, because it might not be funny." [Laughs.] It went alright. Not so bad. But I was shaking. Shaking, shaking. I can't remember what I did. Oh, I was making fun of expat leaving sales. Like when expats leave and they try to get rid of their shit. That was my first bit. But, yeah, I was loud and jokes. That it: loud and jokes. Neil Fauerso: I started doing comedy because I was going through a divorce. It was like my Eat, Pray, Love shit, you know. I'd already been to Bali; I'd already been to Italy. So, obviously, stand up was next. First show I ever did was at this disgusting place in the mall called Comedy Peppers in San Antonio. There we're like three people doing like Andrew Dice Clay sort of stuff. Like really terrible, [Bronx accent] "rickedy, dickedy dock, your mom is suckin' my cock." Just lifting Diceman jokes. And so then I didn't do it for a couple years. And I came back to it in a really wanky Seattle way -- my friends were doing a salon, which was like burlesque dance, someone playing music, someone doing slam poetry. Greg Hutt: Your friends are like my nightmare. They're like my Freddy Kruger. [Laughs.] Neil Fauerso: And they would kill you. They would kill you. So, that was my second time doing stand up and it was fine. But then I came back to it when I was going through a difficult time and I just wanted to try doing it. So, the show on Saturday means a lot to me because it's the culmination of the year to the date that my marriage crumbled -- well, really cratered -- it had been crumbling for a while. But I mark it from when I moved out of my apartment into this disgusting flop house in Lido. Greg Hutt: Hey, that's okay, we gotta get to the darkness before we can get to the funny. Get the sharp edges out. [Laughs.] Neil Fauerso: No, that's what I mean, it's really uplifting because it's about coming back from that. So I want it to be about champagne and sparkling laughter. It's a celebration. It's a celebraish, a celebraish. Of me. [Laughs.] But other things too. ***