*** For the inaugural "Chef's Table", we're tackling a pretty divisive subject amongst Beijing drinking folk: craft beer. Over the last five or six years or so, Beijing's seen a proliferation of "craft beer" bars, each one offering their own brand identity, each one staking their own claim on the market. From the outsider's perspective, it seems like a uneasy sort of truce amongst the six or seven craft beer families of Beijing. For this Chef's Table thing, we were hoping to draw the curtain back a little and see what the professional brewers and buyers really think of their peers. Meet the Table: Feel the excitement. L t R: Carl Setzer, Badr, Dave Bob For our first Chef's Table, SmBj reassembled the ShitBurger Voltron dream team of Carl Setzer (Great Leap Brewery), Dave Bob (Home Plate), and Badr B-something-something (Cuju) to sample huge swaths of the craft beers menus from Jing A, NBeer, Slow Boat, Panda Beer, and Beer Keg -- five places that specifically specialize in selling their own craft beer. Last Tuesday, we got to them all in one night, rolling through the city like an evil tide of malice and ill will. Herein is what went down: The Biases: Carl: As the co-owner and brewmaster of Great Leap Brewery, Setzer's been at the forefront of Beijing's craft beer explosion. In addition to being a co-owner and operator of GLB -- Beijing's biggest craft brewery operation -- he's also behind Beijing's biggest craft beer festival events: the Craft Beer Festival and the upcoming International Invitational Beer Festival. Dave Bob: Currently the manager of Home Plate, Dave Bob comes from a mixologist's background with a double major in drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. A self-professed follower and fan of many craft beer establishments in town, he's got a big chunk of experience in tasting and sourcing beer for Home Plate. Badr: Badr hates beer. Like totally loathes it. He's mainly here for comic relief, in that he can get away with saying that he hates people's product because he's upfront that he doesn't drink beer ever anyway. When he does, he's only sourcing it for his rum bistro Cuju. But, in that capacity, he's had to contend with his fair share. ***

Jing A

Have we been here before? Yeah, of course. Dave Bob: Yeah, this is like my third day here in a row. Carl: Why is that David Robert? Is it that they have the best product in the land? David Robert kind of looks like Captain Lou Albano tonight -- that's a reference to wrestling, of which there will be many tonight.

God, beer.

Well, they don't have rum. Of course. [Looking at menu.] I've tried the Chilli Porter, I don't like it… I've tried the Session Ale, I don't like it… Carl: This is great. I'm going to come off great next to him.

Well, if you're being a proper judge, you look for clarity, aroma, and foam retention, just by sight. And then when you actually taste it, you look for where it hits you on the palate -- if there are any off flavors -- and then finally how it finishes. When you're in an assessment mode, you're looking for balance. Even if it's like "the world's most aggressive IPA" or whatever, it should still have a really nice malt backbone. If it's thin and bitter, then it's just a waste of your money. So, first you're looking for biological flaws. You're looking for anything like a vegetable, paper, or sulfur smell -- anything that makes the back of your throat tickle.

Yeah, there's the world standard of like 16 or 17 elements. Some judging systems are different than others, but, yeah, it's in-depth. If we were properly judging these, it would take maybe 5 or 10 minutes per beer. If you get into judging, it's a two- or three- day panel.

Well, I can only speak to experience from beer. To me, it seems the wine industry is more pompous and full of shit…

Yeah, that sounds exactly like some craft brewers I know. Carl: No, it's just beer is more upfront for a novice. You can have a decent opinion as a novice. Wine, you have to take a fucking class on what notes you're looking for. Beer is transparent. It's either going to be what your expectation is, or it's going to surprise you in a very negative or very positive way. But it's easy to approach. If it gives you that queasy feeling to the taste or the smell, it's not good. It's not balanced in some way. Watch out for skunky shit, basically. ***

The Mandarin Wheat

For me, as a beer preference, I tend to like infused pale ales… Carl: Jesus, man. This is because you're from Vermont. "I like peach, I like orange pale ales…" Badr: Going from food stamps to liking infused pale ales -- that's quite a journey. Dave Bob: [Laughs.] No, I mean I tend to like things that are a bit more creative and higher in alcohol percentage. Anything above 8%, I like… Badr: [Smelling beer.] Wish I could dump some rum into this.

It's actually refreshing. Almost flowery. It doesn't have that rotten apple flavor taste that I hate in beer. It's easy-going. Carl: We have to do a shot every time he says "rotten apples" tonight. Badr: I don't hate it. I can tolerate it.

I've had this one many of times. I've ordered it before, and I'd order it again. It's great. Carl: It's good. It's a little sweet for a wheat. Wheats are supposed to be sweeter anyways, but this is maybe a bit too sweet. But that's something you see sometimes in beer in town. People have a perception that Chinese people like sweeter beer. But, no it's good. I slugged it. I'd have another one. Think I've had this one here before. Seems pretty even every time I get it.

The Worker's Pale Ale

It's bitter. A big-ass "no" from me. I'm not finishing it. Dave Bob: For a pale ale, it's pretty light on the flavor. I can judge a beer by when I burp and if it tastes good. I just did. And it does. So that's thumbs up. Carl: The base recipe for this beer is solid. Everyone who runs a brewery knows that you get two main questions: what's your heaviest beer and what's you lightest beer. This is definitely an attempt to have something on the menu that's drinkable, like a lighter lager, but a bit aggressive as well. It's something that's familiar and you can jump off to other crazier beers, and then come back to again.

The Flying Fist

This is their award-winning beer. Think this one got a bronze medal at the Asia Cup. Dave Bob: So this is an IPA. Badr: Not as hoppy as I remember.

It's a bit of a misnomer. These days it describes the hops aroma. So hops are flowers. But for most people, they're saying that it tastes bitter. But, for a beer geek, they're saying that it's got a certain aroma. Dave Bob: It's super good. But it leaves my tongue a little bit dry. Carl: Yeah, that's an oxidation thing. That might mean it's at the end of its cycle. For me, I've had this beer here when it's been a bit fresher. We're getting kind of at the end-of-an-inventory thing from the farm, so that might be it. You can get a thing where it's like a deisel-y flavor. But unless you know it, and are looking out for that, this beer if perfectly fine. There's nothing structurally wrong with it.

The Full Moon Farmhouse

Just for the record, I just want to say I wish I could like beer. Carl: Well, we all love you and we all love rum. But shut the fuck up, man. Badr: [Laughs.] Just wanted to say for the record. Carl: Nah, for some people there's just nothing appealing about it no matter how hard you try. 95% of the beers you give them, they just don't have the palate for it. Badr: I try all the beers that come to the bar, but… eh. Carl: But you can differentiate between a good beer and a bad beer, even if you don't personally like it… Dave Bob: How has no one said anything about my awesome t-shirt. Carl: We've all seen that shit before. Jesus.

Now, I think that's lovely. Carl: Yeah, I do too. Badr: Yeah, it's got a really nice taste. From the non-beer drinker. Doesn't have any of that rotten apple flavor. It's a little flowery. Not too big. Nice balance. It's centered. Actually, I don't hate it. It's easy-going. Pleasantly impressed by this one… Dave Bob: Hey, that's great. That's a real positive on the Badr rating scale. Yeah, I love this beer. The initial flavor when I drink it, and after it's still smooth.

I think it's a really nice beer that has a nice flavor and I like drinking it. That's it.

Red Rice Ale

Wait, who the fuck is paying for this?

[Laughs.]

No, I brought money. Cheers to getting broke.

Well, it's fizzy, but I don't taste a lot of flavor. Carl: No, it's got a lot of flavor in this one. The first time I had this one, I really liked it. It reminds me of this beer I judged in Japan, the Hitachino Nest Red Rice Ale. The thing about craft beer is that there's a lot of similarities around because people are really paying attention to what's working for other people, and there's a lot of recipes flying around on the internet. The speed of the internet. When they first made it, it had wasabi in it. And I really digged it, but now they don't do the wasabi anymore. It took the guts out of it a bit, I think. Badr: Tastes like campari that someone dumped a bunch of soda water into. Carl: Shit, you're brutal man.

The Uber Jing Oktoberfest

Carl, you were just all over Europe trying all this beer, did you see anything good? Carl: Yeah, Slovenia, Germany, Austria, Czech republic -- it was fucking amazing. Everywhere you went there was these crazy little beers that were only in one place. And then, also, we went and met these hops farmers, and they were breaking out all kinds of stuff. Every brewery that uses their hops, they send their stuff back over so they have it all in their pantries. Breweries from California, New Zealand, Canada -- they have all this in their pantry. Opening it up gives you goosebumps. Like holy shit. The crazy thing they do is that at harvest, they take wet hops -- hops that haven't been dried -- and they'll pour a snifter of beer and just plop a handful of cones right in the beer. Most fragrant beer you're going to get.

Aftertaste is a little… Carl: Well, this is beer you're supposed to drink a shitload of in one-litre glasses, so you're not thinking about the aftertaste. Dave Bob: No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, I hear what you're saying. Nah, it's nice, light, and smooth. I like the initial taste but the aftertaste is like… Badr: It offers everything I don't like about beer, but I would probably serve it. It's fine. Dave Bob: [Laughs.] Carl: It's a German beer and it's supposed to be drinkable, which this is. This is an ale yeast though, which is faster fermentation. But it's clean. It's fine. It's got all the things you want in a beer and I would finish the glass.

The Airpocalypse Double IPA

See, I like that. I like that it has a strong and bold flavor but it's still easy to drink. Badr: No. Just "no". Dave Bob: Aftertaste is still nice… Badr: It's got a nice texture though. Nice foam and thickness. I don't like it though. I definitely don't like it. I would not serve it. It's kind of anonymous for me. Carl: [Laughs.] Well, he has a point. Like for a double IPA you've got a lot of room and freedom to work and offer a lot of flavors, but, for me, it doesn't have the bitterness. For me, structurally, this beer doesn't have a problem, but if you're going to write in your press using international bittering units, I'm expecting a huge fragrance and an aggressive taste. It's kind of sweet and then sits just a little bitter on your tongue. Dave Bob: I disagree. Badr: For me, if I want this taste, I'm just going to get a Brooklyn Lager and put it in the fridge. Dave Bob: Oh man, I totally disagree with that. I think this one's a great beer. Carl: These guys are going to go at it.

The Harmonious Session Ale

You know what, I'm already fucked. 'Cause the only things I drink are Tsingtsao and PBR. I'm fucked. Already. Badr: I'm fine. I drink bourbons and rye and everything. Carl: That's what I like at The Corner Melt -- just the one option of the PBR tall boy. I like that he doesn't have the confusion with all the other shit. No one's going to look at me like I'm a dickhead for ordering a PBR tallboy because it's all they have. Dave Bob: Well, you know why I brought PBR into Home Plate? One, because it's a barbeque but two, because I was sick of drinking fucking Tsingtsao all day long. Carl: Yeah, but where is that PBR being made? It's being made in fucking Guangzhou, for Chrissake. Dave Bob: Dude, who gives a shit if it's being made in China. This is not a secret that it's being made in China. It's still… Carl: Well, no one should be selling Tsingtsao in Beijing. It should just be Yanjing and Beijing Draft. We're in Beijing, you should drink Beijing beer. Dave Bob: Yanjing sucks. Carl: It doesn't suck! You suck! Your face sucks! Dave Bob: Want to chest bump?

Well, it's a bit metallic. A phosphoric acid. But it's good. I like it. I like the theory. Badr: It's like eating vanilla ice cream. It's like inconsequential. It's like a cream soda. Dave Bob: Sometimes, I just don't know what the fuck you're saying. Carl: He's got a very nice pashmina scarf on tonight though. Badr: Hey, this is a man's man scarf from back home. This is a camel riding scarf. Carl: Alright, alright leave the scarf on.

Guizhou Smoked Porter

Well, I've just come back from Guizhou, so I'm looking forward to this one. I've still got that Guizhou smell in my nose. Smells like the country side.

I like it but it would be difficult to drink a whole one. Obviously, I've had this one before, when they were experimenting with it. I like the idea, but I can only do it in small portions.

Yeah, I bet I can make a nice reduction with this and use it in cocktails. There's a lot of flavor. But maybe too many flavors one by one. Like this one comes and goes, this one comes and goes.

Yeah, it's definitely interesting. They do this thing with Big Smoke, like a tasting thing. I think it would be okay for that. Carl: The Boxing Cat [Shanghai Brewery] did a really cool IPA with a Danish brewer and it reminds me of this. It's a little smokey, they use the pepper to give you the burn, and then it's a little bitter to back it up. There's this other brewery in Columbus and they do like a Jalapeno reduction, and it's the spiciest beer in the world, kind of thing. You have to split a bottle of it with like six people. Those oils are so strong.

The Takeaways

Flying Fist IPA, I really liked. I'd recommend the Farmhouse. It's really good. I still like the Airpocalypse… Carl: I thought everything was really good. I liked the Farmhouse. If we were coming in here and getting ripped, I'd just be on that one all night. RECOMMENDATIONS: The Farmhouse, Flying Fist, Oktoberfest, and Airpocalypse. Thanks Jing A! ***

NBeer

Well, they've got 27 beers on tap. Couple of them are out. But we're just looking for the Nbeer -- their own stuff -- because they're also serving a lot from Chengdu and Wuhan. We can do at least six of these. Badr: Want to do the cider?

The Oyster Stout

Ah shit, which was was which. Didn't know we were getting three dark beers.

Man, why aren't you up? Why don't you tell us about this beer?

It's like oysters and liquorice. Dave Bob: It's like one of those beers you rock with a really bad cigarette. Carl: It's just got a little resin-ey taste to it, which, on this end of the tour, we might get a little. It's a very "home brew" kind of taste, which in it of itself is not a bad thing.

Well, it's owned by one of the guys who started the Pass By Bar, so it's a guy that's been around Beijing bars for a really long time. He's a pretty interesting dude, and you know he really cares about and loves craft beer. They came out for our third craft beer festival and did really well. It was nice to see them there, getting Chinese people involved. Getting everyone together in the same room talking about shit...

Coffee Rye Stout

Cream. If you've ever had Guinness at St. Jame's Gate in Dublin, that's like drinking chocolate milk. It's fucking beautiful. It fills your mouth. And with a stout, you want to do that in like a non-industrial way. You want to get that nice maltyness with coffee, chocolate, and caramel or whatever.

It's not offensive. It's really not offensive. Dave Bob: It's okay. It's better than Murphey's. For me. [Laughs.] Carl: Way to take a stand there, Dave Bob.

One of the oldest cocktail recipes in the world -- The Flip -- I think this would work really well in. I'm telling you, back on the old days of piracy and profiteering...

Badr's like, "Let me bring this back to rum real quick…" Badr: Exactly. Whenever beer went bad, they'd just dump a bunch of tasty rum into it, and it ended up being The Flip. And at some point, somebody added molasses, and at some point, somebody by mistake took the fire poker and stabbed it in. So that's how that came about. Dave Bob: Yeah, that's true. Carl: Shockingly similar to how the Flaming Moe was invented… Badr: Makes that whole room smell like candy. Dave Bob: But you don't mind this one then? Badr: I don't mind it. I'm completely neutral. Dave Bob: I'm not a huge fan of stouts or porters, but this is fine. I mean, I can get into it. I would order this, but maybe not a bunch of this. Carl: I think stouts are the most fun beer to make because you can dump a bunch of weird shit in them and they're really resilient. There's so much backbone. I'd like to quote my good friend Chandler, here, from Slow Boat. He said to me once: "You know Carl, I like my porters really thick. I like to be able to dry them out and make a sweater out of them." And I haven't forgot that. Dave Bob: Next stop Slow boat!

I'm going to need a good rum after this.

The Kuli Stout

Not in Chinese. It means "bitter" and then "strength".

Tastes exactly like that last one except there's none of the coffee flavor. But it's fine. No bitterness. Seriously, it's the same without the coffee nose. Dave Bob: Aftertaste is strong. Carl: For systems like this you kind of make the most of it. You make one batch that breaks into two kegs, and then one is plain and then one you can pour coffee in, which is what I think they did. But I'm not getting that bitterness. With the name, "Kuli" you kind of want it to suck your face in. All the same, it's a pretty clean beer. There's a bit of throat itch. But it's pretty clean.

The Yunnan Fragrant Rice

Somebody's got the hiccups! Carl: Cheers to Yunnan Badr: Oooof. I've got this feeling of sourness and acidity in my stomach. Carl: It's meaty. It's got like a meat-vegetable flavor. So, anyway, little known fact: a bad beer has never killed anybody. It make you sick, it gives you a headache, it gives you the shits, but there's nothing ever harmful enough in a beer that will actually kill you. You always get over it… Something to remember. Dave Bob: Ebola. Ebola Craft Beer. We should try to make one. A lethal beer. Carl: We might have been unlucky a bit with NBeer tonight, but look at how many people are in here enjoying craft beer. The negative is what if they hate it and never want to try it again… [laughs]. But, all the same, look at all the people in here, stoked on trying new things out. And it's a small and exciting operation because it's small and they can try out new things. You're just fucking around and trying to make something that works. [At Great Leap Brewery] We also started out just experimenting... Dave Bob: I always said I would stay in Beijing if there was a beach -- like a coast -- and a nice microbrewery. And then Carl opened up his hutong location…

[Laughs.] No, no, no. Dude.

I'm telling you when that hutong location opened up, for me, it was like "Finally, some real fucking beer in Beijing." You know. For me it was like "Fuck, all I need is a beach now."

The Takeaway

Badr, what's the takeaway from NBeer? Badr: They've found their niche and it looks like they know what they're doing. If you think about it, it's everything you don't want in a bar. It's inside a mall. It's a weird location. But it's a Tuesday night and they've got lots of people here. It's not bad. It's all locals too. We're the only laowais sitting here.

Well, this street is like… what is it? Like a Nanluoguxiang kind of thing.

[Laughs.] No, it's like, whatever, but then you find this nice little spot. If you're into bottles, they have a lot. People look to be excited by having beer. Carl: Yeah, you look at the board and all their draft beer is reasonably priced and there's a lot of options. The guys down in Chengdu are really close friends of mine, it means a lot to be able to come here and get their beer. Where else can you get Harvest beer in Beijing? NBeer -- this their first foray into brewing, and the beers are really experimental and they're pushing the envelope. But they're also brewing on, basically, just a really fancy home brew kit. So you know what you're getting when you come in. It's not going to be Mr. Wizard state-of-the-art, but a lot of experimentation is going on and a lot of variety is available… Holy shit, speaking of Wizards, there goes one now… Ed's Note: Some kid in a for-real Sloth from The Goonies mask just ran by outside. Check it out. Halloween's coming kids! HEEEEYYYY YOOOUUU GUUUYYSSSS! NBEER RECOMMENDATIONS: The Coffee Rye Stout Thanks, NBeer! *** Come back tomorrow morning for Part II of the Beijing Craft Beer Blast. We're heading to Slow Boat, the new Panda, and Brew Keg! DUN. DUN. DUUUUN.