*** With temperatures finally reaching upwards of "hey, holy shit, it's not too bad out today", there has never been a better time to enjoy humankind's finest achievement: the brunch. Here's a few newish ones around town for July two-oh-one-five.

Jing A Taproom

Jing A's "Brewers Brunch" has been around for a month or two now, and they've settled down on their menu of platter options, offering three courses for a very reasonable 98rmb. That's a really good deal. 98rmb is 2rmb cheaper than 100rmb -- that's the math there -- and it's also psychologically soothing. Two digits instead of three. Not including drinks. So this is the menu. There's a fair amount of creativity going on with the dishes. They're making do with some eggs and basics, some boutique-type ingredients sourced from local vendors, and a few items of flourish to knock this up one step from "I could make this at home". Nice range of healthy options to gut-busters. Drinks are thus. They were out of these when we went, which was a bit of a shame. But they've definitely got beer. That's their main dealio. First course: a platter to share. Unless you ride solo, then it's all for yourself. Prosciutto, pickled mushrooms, asparagus with sun-dried tomatoes, and a very lovely broccoli quiche. Very nice. This is the main course I opted for: "The Hungry Man's Hash". I've got an insatiable hunger. Insatiable, I tell you. This is basically a big Jenga pile of corned beef, peppers, and potatoes with a poached egg on top. It was very rich and very heavy. Very heavy. Sort of falling off the platter there. Super filling. Went right to my small aorta. Was good though. Rounding it out, a Chocolate Stout ice cream. Ice cream, hey, that's alllllllright. Yeah, it's great. 98rmb. Great deal. Looks like a nice variety of options to keep you coming back to try new things too. I've heard the Eggs Florentine is good. Jing A's brunch -- seemed like it's pretty popular with families and groups of younger expats wearing sunglasses. The outdoor tables filled up over the course of the brunch period, with kids running around in amongst the messy haired, hungover types. Service is good too. My water got refilled without having to ask. That's like the service industry's alley oop, 360-degree slam dunk, I think. Jing A's brunch is every Sunday, 11am to 2pm. ***

The Farmer's Market @ Modernista

After several thousand years in the renovations cocoon expanding their Baochao Hutong space one floor up and one door over, Modernista has welcomed back the popular Farmer's Market from its travels around town. Beijing vendors are there every Sunday, slinging a tidy trade in earnest boutique goods -- tea, cheese, organic produce, wines, baked goods, incense, Grateful Dead bootlegs, ceremonial daggers, pagan robes, magic wands and spell books, shrunken heads, and Gizmos from the movie Gremlins -- stuff like that. Side note: it's always super awkward shopping at these sorts of places, perusing the stuff right in front of the actual owner. I can see the hope and pain in your eyes, boutique vendor! You're not going to guilt me into buying some damn Tibetan yak blanket! Damn you... how much is it. You've won. You've won, damn you. I'll take two. They also do a very modest brunch. It's very modest. So you'd go to do the whole Farmer's Market thing, and if you're feeling peckish here's what you can get. First course is a salad, second course is a main, and there's pie for desert if you want. A "Fruit and Veggies" salad. Like one veggie and two fruits. Pretty basic. A little disappointing. Not much to comment on. It was alright? Pretty fresh, but also pretty underdeveloped. And here's the Homemade Ravioli. Very tasty. Very reminiscent of the pasta you get at Italian hutong gem Mercante. Delicious. Really melts in your mouth. Very singular and unique -- gives you the impression that the plate arrives at your table as the end-result of someone's conscientious craft. Only gripe is the small portion. They only give you like eight of the delicious little pockets. Should be oh say 20. So Modernista. I like Modernista. They really care about what they do, and this Farmer's Market is a great thing to bring the community together and showcase the craft and produce talents living in Beijing. Good, constructive posi vibes. Would definitely re-up on the ravioli, after picking up my week's supply of obscure Inner Mongolian honey. [Update] We spoke too soon. Looks like Modernista is ramping up their brunch game. From the horse's mouth: "We are pleased to introduce a new weekend brunch menu, which will come with four different set options, including vegetarian quiche, pancakes, homemade sausages, smoked salmon blini, asparagus with bacon, egg benedictine with parma ham, panfried white mushrooms or dried tomato & Ricotta homemade ravioli." Huh. Should have waited on that one. Welp, looks like the ravioli is still on board though... The Farm to Neighbors Market is at Modernista every Sunday from 12 to 5pm. ***

The Rug's Summer Brunch Menu

The house that brunch built, The Rug, has just launched their "Summer Menu", and it is indeed tricked out with esoteric, quirky, cheeky, ORGANIC, ORGANIC, ORGANIC options, available all the time, every day in their two venues in Beijing. I gotta say, I never quite got the appeal of The Rug. It's like a Denny's for yuppies or something. I don't get it. All the meals I've had there have been pretty blah. Big on presentation, but lacking in delivery. Maybe I've just been unlucky. Everyone else I know seems to really like the place, and they seem to do pretty good business. In addition to a few standards, the new stuff on The Rug's brunch menu is sort of broken down in three sections: a "Fun Donut Brunch Menu" -- items with donuts featured in them -- a "Bunny Chow in Beijing" section, which is rabbit food and healthy stuff, and a "Fancy All-Day Menu", which is expensive chef recommendations of stuff that you'd probably want to eat. But I got one of the donut things. Because someone had to. So yeah. This is "The Lox & Dill New Yorker Donut Burger Brunch" with "smoked salmon, onion, dills, fresh arugula, fine olive oil, on the side: fresh veggie chips". It's a salmon sandwich with two donuts for buns. It's slightly larger than a typical slider. Yours for 98rmb. I don't know what to say, really. It wasn't as gross as I thought it would be. Donuts and salmon -- that sounds gross, eh. But it sort of worked. The donuts weren't like French Crullers or Boston Cremes, dripping in sugar powder and icing. They were just plain donut guys, not dissimilar to the ones you get in the bakery aisle at 7-Eleven. (Yes, I buy 7-Eleven donuts, don't judge me). It was edible. Which is probably the achievement here. At least it wasn't sickening. Someone passed their Iron Chef challenge. But it was still pretty blah. It tasted like salmon. And plain donut. And costs 98rmb. And the "veggie chips" were every bit as pointless and aggravating as you would imagine "veggie chips" to be. But the juice is good. This is a juice. Or yogurt shake or some such thing. Um... yeah. same time next month? The Rug's brunch menu is available during operating hours. ***