Hey, man, you know I love you. You know this. I love you. I just wish you'd take better care of yourself, you know. I'm just looking out for you, buddy. I want you here with us for a long, long time. Just wish you'd shape up, fly right, and get healthy, know what I mean? Gotta look out for yourself, bud. You only get one shot at this crazy lil' thing called life. Gotta take care of yourself. Eat some of these nuts! And drink some of this juice! It's good for you! Juice by Melissa... Juice by Melissa is a organic, cold-pressed juice cleanse company that's been operating for about a year now in Beijing, via their online made-to-order business. Just last weekend, they opened their first brick-and-mortar retail shop right next to Great Leap Brewery on Xinzhong Dongjie. They're still satisfying orders through their webpage, but now you can roll in to this store and browse their wares in person. They're also dealing in vegan snacks and meals, and community-type events in the future, so that's another reason to get out from behind your computer monitor. Okay, so juice cleanses. This is like a thing. A fitness thing. A detox thing. A fasting thing. It's intense. Or it can be, so I gather. I'm not going to front like I know a what I'm talking about here, so instead I'll just point you in the direction of some introductory articles on the subject -- like this one (wikipedia, sup), this one (health.com), and this one (from JuicebyMelissa.com themselves) -- and you can see if you want to try it on. The basic conceit is that a juice cleanse is a juice-based detox program that you undertake, accompanying a fasting regiment, to combat the build up of toxins and pollutants in your body. Different combinations of nutrients and juices inspire different aspects of your physicality while flushing out all the bad things, and the result is more energy, heightened well-being, better physical health, and a qi level that makes cars erupt into flames, just by you walking down the street. So Juice by Melissa deals in a series of juice cleanse packages, aiming for differing results, undertaken for various cycles (1 day, 3 days, 5 days, 7 days). You can view their complete line of cleanse packages right here. Okay. So. BUT. If you don't want to get into the whole fasting thing, you can buy these juices in package deals (here is the entire menu), by the individual bottle, or straight-up by "the shot". Oh, wait. Shots. I've heard of those. These are some shots! These guys are 25rmb and you just mount up at the counter and slam 'em. I had the "Pollution Fighter". Holy. It was intense. I was expecting some Orange Julius-type stuff. No. Goddamn, no, not at all. I tasted like punching all of my internal toxins right in the dick. Serous. In a good way, though. Tough love. Seriously tough love. I had to smoke like three packs of cigarettes just to get my qi levels back to equilibrium. To take the edge off, I also got into some of the "Signature Cold Pressed Juices", like this one, the "Chia Mylk". "Black chia seeds create a barrier in the stomach, slowing absorption of carbs and sugars and allowing for decreased fat production. Our Chia Mylk is a fantastic drink for those weight loss heroes." Very delicious. This is like your standard milk, except it's made for Thor or something like that. Really, very delicious. Here's a coffee bruh. "Cold pressed coffee is 70 % less acidic than your standard cup of joe. It gives your digestive track a break and keeps PH levels in check without sacrificing its rich smooth flavor. Perfectly paired with our dairy free nut mylks and all natural sweeteners, this is a guilt free pick me up that will help you power through your day." Also very delicious. Tasted really clean. Tasted like it was too good for me. Damn fine, healthy, invigorating, rejuvenating, exfoliating, etc., etc., etc. Anyway. There's an abundance of juices to get into if you're interested. They've got 9 million kinds of juice (30 or so), and they're getting into snacks and meals as well, and community events in the future, like cold-pressed juice wet t-shirt contests and hummus wrestling. No... Yoga. *** Juice by Melissa is at 3 Xinzhong Dongjie, right next to the GLB II: The Legend of Curly's Gold.