If you, like me, find yourself continually looking for new and interesting ways to deplete the ocean of all life as we know it, it's my pleasure to point you in the direction of new oyster dining restaurant, Cpearl. They do oysters, my friends. Oysters gleaned from sundry and far-flung oceans from around the globe. Freshly cracked open up on Xinyuan Jie, Cpearl is a tumbling, three-floor deal with the second floor serving as the main dining area. Therein ye shall find booth-style seating, private tables, and a banquet table, but if you know your game, you'll be heading right to the oyster bar on that floor to get a front row seat on a bunch of mollusks meeting their demise. Deliciously! Cpearl comes to us in Beijing with Shanghai-experience already racked up, and thus a pretty sound import chain already in place. It's the same management behind The Plump Oyster, which opened up in that city sometime near the start of this big oyster restaurant trend they had going for a bit. They've since shed a founding partner since moving north, but they still retain the benediction of one Patrick McMurray, the Guinness World Record holder for fastest oyster shucker. Here he is dropping some science on how to shuck it up. Cpearl displays the Guinness book in the restaurant, garnished with some ice wine. So. The oysters. Here's where they're all coming from. Lot's of French representation, joined by varieties from Canada, Ireland, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Korea, and the US. Crates are coming in almost daily, which end up at this oyster bar. For the picture, I'm standing up at my chair, right in front of the guy who's just cracking them open and feeding them to me like I'm a sexy Jabba the Hut. It goes like this: they have around 20 to 25 varieties of oyster that you order by the piece (1), the half dozen (6), or dozen (12). Prices vary pretty wildly depending on the type you get. It's like 30-70rmb per oyster, with half-dozens clocking in around 250rmb-400rmb, and full dozens jumping up to 600-800rmb or so. But here's what you do, friend! Pro tip! Every Wednesday, they have a special, which is 218rmb for a dozen. Said dozen is a nice selection from Korea, Canada, and France, and a couple littleneck clams thrown on top to round it out. Here it is: Bonjour France... 안녕 Korea... Take off you hoser, Canada... Yeah, I know they all look basically the same, but there's actually some pretty deep variation on taste. It's almost like a wine tasting kind of deal. In eating oysters, you're sampling aroma, boldness, brinyness, size, and texture, with each region and variety offering a different combination and experience. They fall right out of the shell. Sluurrrp 'em up, and then down the oyster liquor (the liquid left behind) right after. Muaah! Bracing! Here's a Kumamoto we got extra, which is imported from the West Coast US. A lot smaller than the one's pictured above and a sweeter little bruh, it's roundly touted as a "great introduction" oyster for people who might be new to the whole thing. Nice clams. Oyster dining is an intense experience (sexual, to be explicit) but not really a filling one. To supplement your platter, Cpearl offers a pretty wide-reaching range of dishes you can add on, from steaks and lobster to pizza and french fries, even. Sticking with the seafood we got a Seafood Soup, which was decent... ...and the mussels dish from the sharing menu. These were also great. Very nice tomato pesto kind of dressing. Think they're Canadian in origin. But yeah, you're really going for the oysters, which are giant and luscious and delicious and sexy and succulent and wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. At this point, our wallet had a bit of a hurt on it so we didn't even get to the drinks really, which were comprised of a pretty extensive wine list, a simple range of cocktails, and a truncated beers menu. You're on your own for wine. Shit was pretty expensive. All in, what you see above, plus a couple beers and a desert platter was 944rmb. Cpearl deals to watch out for: -Every Wednesday: it's a dozen oysters for 218rmb. -Every Thursday: mussel platters are 88rmb, with five different preparation methods on the docket. -Daily: Not in conjunction with the dozen oysters deal, but it's buy two-get-one-free on all varieties of oyster. Good for the duration of their soft opening. Daily: One your first visit, if you add Cpearl to your WeChat, you get a free oyster. Shuck it up, yall. Schuck it up. *** Cpearl is at 14-2, Bldg 14, Shunyuanli, Xinyuan Jie. Closed on Mondays. Open every other day from 5:30pm to 2am. For now, reservations not required. On finding it, coming from Sanlitun, you thread the embassies heading north on Xinyuan Jie, at it's at the intersection with Shunyuanli.