SmartBeijing was imbedded at last Saturday's Third Annual Chili Festival down at Great Leap Brewery, reporting live from the scene (not live), doing some wicked sick photojournalism, and sampling the sundry chilies the Beijing community had to offer. Here's the SCENE. Shit was packed. White people: just try to stop us! It was 13 chilies on offer in total. 150 beans got you entry, a couple of beers, and a card like this which you took around to different sampling stations. Thirteen different groups were competing for four prizes: first and second place according to the chili expert judges and first and second place according to us, the chili-sampling general public. A few restaurants were represented in the cook-off (Cuju, The Box, and 4corners), a few private businesses (That's Beijing), but mostly it was just humble, amateur chili folk, salt of the earth types armed with their personal chilli recipes and a dream. There was some nice variation on offer. Lots of different ingredients and perspectives flying around. Here's some Cuju vegetarian chili, "The Hutong is on Fire". You can really taste the SCHIZOPHRENIA. Certifiably delish! This man was serving up hungover-as-fark five alarm chili. The team from That's Beijing, drawing on the long and storied tradition of British chili. Tick, tick, tick BOOM. Chili cooking: it's a real delicate art. This chili team had their own junior cheerleaders who were belting out some flair along with the red stuff. The thing about going out during the day, it's a big reminder that children do in fact still exist. This grizzled old timer was serving up big heaping spoonfuls of southern hospitality in a cup. My notes from the event indicate that there was some lamb in this one. My notes also indicate, "FAfnnn derrr. Gerd der splrqaaah. 3$$@NNRF", so it's anyone's guess really. One of the expert chili judges, obviously digging on some flavorful little nuance in that sample. A gentleman from the "Chili Bing" team, keenly versed in the knowledge that chili is best served at maximum volume whilst slamming a pot lid in people's faces and covering them in great torrents of spittle. Clever girl. This was a great little chili. Don't know if you can tell from the picture but it was made entirely out of whiskey. Real innovative. Chili fest is a great time to press your beard up against another man's and just bask in a general feeling of optimism and hope for the future. 2014: we're gonna work this shit out! The weekly meeting of the Beijing Extreme Sunglasses Society is going awesome. Dude was HAMMERED. I've seen him around town before though, he's an animal. Most metal guy at the party, shows off the most un-metal phone ever. Just some local chili street toughs, trying to intimidate us normal, law-abiding chili folk with their chili anarchist ways. I'm not afraid to admit it: this guy had hair like an angel. Look at that. It's like someone spun gold on a magical loom out of my favorite childhood memories. *** I digress. After a heavy afternoon of chili and craft beer appreciation, finally it was time to award the winners of the event and hold aloft giant novelty checks in triumph. The judges had their picks, the general chili audience, ours. The lads of Chili Bing won first place in the judge's eyes... ...and for People's Choice, it was "American Holy Fries" who cooked up a little number called "Euphoric Home Made Chili". I regrettably didn't get a chance to sample the Chili Bing chili but I had some of that Euphoric chili and it was indeed very delicious. Apparently, they'd been working on it since the previous Tuesday. Dedication rewarded. For the victors, it was a real emotional moment, like the culmination of a long and arduous journey. Clutching their giant checks in hand, these chili champions were wracked with chili emotions, and unabashedly let loose great heaving chili sobs of chili triumph and chili release. There were many, many other winners that day, of course. This guy ain't doing too shabby with them coconuts! And this guy with the camera is obviously over the moon about sharing space with the coconut man. Here are the happy recipients of SmartBeijing's free media seats to Bruno Mars. Just kidding. I took them shits back and went myself. This is what Bruno Mars looks like after 90 pounds of chili and 12 beers. *** We'll end off with a photographic vignette of Great Leap's event co-ordinator Liz Phung. That's her in the back there in the green plaid shirt. These next shots are best viewed quickly in sequence like a flip book. Behold: this is what event planning bliss looks like. *** Good times had by all! Congrats to all the contestants on their delicious and mostly not poisonous chilies, and congrats to Great Leap for hosting! Same time next year, yeah! *** Awwwwwwww.