You can get anything delivered these days, right? Scroll through for a step-by-step guide on how to get someone to come to your actual house (or office) and give you an actual Covid test using the Alipay app.

But also. We’ve got all the information you need on the old fashion way of doing it as well. As in, going to a hospital. Local hospitals are cheapest, if you don’t mind waiting in line for a minute. International hospitals are more expensive but you can make an appointment. We’ve got all of them listed right here, along with a handy map that shows you which are closest to your location.

And here’s how you get someone to come right over to your house or office to give you one — i.e. the closest location.

You need 3 things: 1. Alipay; 2. 268rmb; 3. Someone who reads / texts / speaks Chinese fairly well.

Let’s go.

Step 1: Open Alipay, and type: 核酸检测 (Covid Test)

Step 2: Click 核酸检测 on the result page, which gets you to an orange-ish surface

Step 3: Click 上门核酸检测, aka, covid test at your doorstep

Step 4: Click the service you wish to buy.

The normal price range is around 250rmb, which allows you to book an appointment one day ahead of time and then it takes one more day for the result to be delivered online. If you need the test RIGHT NOW, you have the 800rmb option, where they will do your test and results the same day if you place the order before 3pm.

To see your order status, go back to the orange page, and click 立即预 (book now):

Click 我的 (My…);

Then 我的订单 (My Orders):

Add testee’s information:

Once the test is done, they will deliver the result on the order page on the next day or so, and you just need to click 查看报告 (Check Your Report);

So... wait, they just came to your house? 

Well, office. But yeah.  It was easy. Quick. Painless. Provided you are a Chinese speaker or have a local to help you through.

So, after you book your slot, they call you in the evening before the test day and try and arrange a time with you. This is where the speaking Chinese comes into play.

The next day, they come to your preferred location. It was one nurse. She showed up 30 minutes early. That was okay. The test takes like 2 minutes. They do the mouth one. Not the nose one. Thank god, not the nose one. Then they leave.

Then you go sit on your couch and wait for the results. That’s it!

Stay healthy, y’all!