There are five various festivals happening this weekend. Five. Why? Did the French chef committee run into the metal community at Bird while eating Mongolian sausages and drinking cocktails? Is that what happened? Because it looks like it.

*** Shanghellfest. Thrashers, heshers and hardcore kids unite for a third year to celebrate all that is unholy and trash all that is sacred. Many Faced God, Shanghai Hell Brewery and Skullcrusher are on the bill. It is the devil’s festival. Sausage Fest. Is this a Bund joke? A club joke? I feel like there is some innuendo here but I just can’t tell. Anyway, this is a sausage party with everything from kielbasa to chorizo, with involvement from Cages, The Blind Pig, Liquid Laundry and more. It is the carnivore’s festival. The First Charcuterie Festival, or perhaps better called French Family Day, with all kinds of family friendly festival things, as well as caterers who specialize in charcuterie. The real star here is going to be the Pate en Croute competition, which pulls in chefs from Shanghai Tavern, Le Salon de Robuchon, and Bistro by Yannick Alleno, among others. It is the aesthete’s festival. SIP Cocktail Festival. A roster of well-known bar and bar industry people making drinks. Put on by hip event company Social Supply. It is the drinker’s festival. Stallion Music Festival. The most unique of all the festivals, The Stallion World Music Festival brings steppe-rock straight out of Tuva, one of the world’s most isolated places during the Soviet era, and now the home to three rock bands re-imagining their musical heritage. It is the horseman’s festival.