St. Patrick's Day is coming up real, real quick. If, for whatever reason, you desperately don't want to be involved, we've got five absolutely not St. Paddy's Day related deals to get you through the Green Festival. Most of them are Latin-themed instead. Make of that what you will.

*** Wednesday: Every Wednesday is Latin night at The Apartment, where it's buy-one-get-one-free mojitos and caipirinhas, with a live band kicking out salsa, merengue (which I consistently misread as meringues but it is not those), reggaeton, and more. There's even a free salsa class from 9.30pm to 10pm courtesy of Salsa Shanghai. Free entry until midnight with the password "A2 Event". Dress Code: "Elegant with latino charm." So no sport or open shoes, no shorts, no sport apparel or t-shirts. No caps. No sombreros either, unless your charro licenses are all in order. Starts 8pm. Thursday: Every Thursday Pistolera hosts a Latin dance party with a live band and passionate Latino beats from DJs like Dj Naz and K-libre. Drinks special on tequila popper shots -- 25rmb all night long. Runs from 10am to 2.30am. This is probably where sombreros are okay, but really consider whether you want to be wearing something at 2.30am that looks so enticingly like a hot pot but does nothing to protect your head from liquids. Friday: Every Friday at Fumo, they're hosting their "Feminite" ladies night. It appears to be a combination of the words "Feminine" and "night," or possibly "exeunite," a brownish black mineral with a metallic luster, according to Wikipedia. Maybe ammonites? Those freaky-looking fossil creatures, like a curled up squid in a shell? Or the Canaanites. We'll never know. But we do know ladies get complimentary Martini cocktails from 8pm to midnight, just for showing up, existing, and looking their lovely selves. Grooves by DJ Soltronik. Goes from 8pm-midnight. Saturday: Mexican restaurant El Luchador's Xindiandi location offers brunch from 65rmb. If you want alcohol with your meal, you can get a bucket of Coronas (called felicidad en una botella by undergraduates), margarita pitchers, and free-flow sparkling wine for 128rmb. They also have a Mexican DJ playing Latin hits. Starts at 10am. We rate the sombrero acceptance factor at a solid 7 here, you'll maybe get a couple looks but that's it. Sunday: The Meat hosts a Saturday and Sunday brunch -- 350rmb per adult gets your access to a full range of unlimited starters, followed by one of their signature steaks, all accompanied by free-flow soft drinks, fresh juices, house red and white wine, and their award-winning craft beer. Kids enjoy access to the Adventure Zone. Free booze for adults, that's the Danger Zone. Runs 11.30am to 3.30pm. We already tried it out and you can read about it here. Decent beer, great service, worth the price.

Bonus Deal

Monday: Chicken, pork, veggie, or sole fish fajitas authentically marinated with a special blend of seasonings including ancho and guajillo chilis and served with Mexican rice, tomato salsa, lettuce, cheese, and re-fried beans from only 49rmb with purchase of a drink. That's every Monday at Mamacita, from 5pm to 10pm. Casual sombrero acceptance factor probably a 9. I mean there's one right there on the flyer.