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[Wellbeing]: No Pain, No Gain

For the well-being of this Wellbeing column, SmSh asked me to go out and try some possibly painful treatments, so that others might enjoy my harrowing experiences with scary therapy. Here's three...
Last updated: 2015-11-09

For the well-being of this Wellbeing column, SmSh asked me to go out and try some possibly painful treatments, so that others might enjoy my harrowing experiences with scary therapy.

Here's three for thought, rated against a gain for pain scale.

Ooooh. Ouch, that's hurts so good.

Cupping / Ba Huo Guan




I once heard of a foot cupping session that involved brandy set alight, shot glasses, and a small girl. Mine involved large glasses, a larger man, and a cupboard-fell-on-me like sensation.

Cupping is popular in the treatment of colds, pneumonia, and bronchitis. It evidently sucks out your toxins. It's been around since 3000 BC; Hippocrates and Muhammad were big fans. When discussing the scientific merits of cupping, most English-language primers reiterate the American Cancer Society conclusion: "There is no scientific evidence that cupping leads to any health benefits... Any reports of successful treatment with cupping are anecdotal. There is no scientific evidence that cupping can cure cancer or any other disease."

Take that how you will. Proponents of cupping, however, don't position it as a cure for cancer -- more so it's used to ameliorate the lymphatic system, clears colon blockages, and clear veins, arteries, and capillaries.

Number 89 (the large man) first lathers my back up with innocent enough oils, then cracks out a vast collection of rounded glasses that he proceeds to heat and stick down with vigor all across my back. He then leaves the room and calls out that he'll be back to take them off in about 15 minutes. These 15 minutes I use to try not to move too much or breathe too much, with each slightest movement emphasizing the memory that my skin has been stretched into 12 bubble-like forms that are weighing me down with that cupboard-like force.

He does return, and there are moments of relief as he unplugs the glasses from my back, cheerily giggling at the five that take extra strength and suction to remove.

I'm left with 12 perfectly rounded deep purple bruises and my breath back.

Pain: 6/10; Gain: 7/10

Where to go: Number 89 cups at Yide Massage (venue listing here), but Body Talk (venue listing here) do it as well. In general, cupping is a pretty wide-spread in Shanghai and available in lots of places.

Chin Chin Doctor Fish Bath




With a fresh stock of dry winter skin I slowly lower myself into a warm pool of what I hope are toothless Chin Chin doctor fish. They swarm, it tickles, I don't feel any teeth but more of a small suction experience. They don't hold back, enthusiastically gumming me pretty much everywhere. I take it all in and ponder a little on what they might taste like.

I've been told calluses, bacteria, and psoriasis are their favorites. The ones that accompany me today are Chinese Chin Chin doctor fish, their cousins the Turkish Garra Rufa sound a little more harsh. They’ve got teeth that cause minor bleeding. (!!) I'm happy with my swarm.

A few start to lose interest and so I decide I've had my run and slowly emerge. I feel somewhat calmed, and lighter around the knees and elbows. Not bad!

Pain: 0.5; Gain: 8

Where to go: Bosstown or Da Lang Tao Sha (but it's only in the men's section here).

Electric Current Water Therapy Foot Bath


I don't know how this happened. At the tail end of what seemed like a reviving package of reflexology and shoulder rubs, I'm now submerging my feet into a foot bath-like contraption that is wired up to a voltage meter. My smiling therapist-salesman assures me that five volts will ease me in nicely and that there's absolutely no short-circuitry to worry about. This is the home version of Electric Current Water Therapy that I got from Taobao.

He starts me on those five volts, and as electric current shoots from magnetic strips, through the water, up my legs, worry came with numbness. But it's not all uncomfortable lack of bodily sensation, as we hit 11 volts my left toes start to cramp up and my right calve does something like have a small fit. This continues for a beginner's level 15 minutes until two high pitched bleeps call out and I watch my calves return to a less sculpted state whilst my toes emerge from underneath my feet.

I do feel that immense sense of improved circulation the therapist was speaking of, but it could also be that sensation of feeling returning to my legs. I don’t think I’ll be getting into this thing again.

Pain: 7/10; Gain: 2.5/10

Where to go: Taobao, of course. Right here.

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