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I Waited In Line For 75 Minutes For This Ice Cream Cone

...And all I got was this article and a damn ice cream cone.
2016-04-21 12:36:19

Everyone loves a good queue, but in this age of online reservations and movie tickets via smartphone, where can you even find one these days? It seems like the queue's days are numbered. What a shame. But people still crave the queue. People need the queue. People need to share suffering to relate to our fellow human. It validates our humanity and empathy. All of life's important themes are present in the queue: adversity; physical toil and hardship; the eventual total mental collapse, resulting in the cursing of god and all of creation; and, sometimes, catharsis and redemption.

One massive queue has popped up on Wukang Lu over the past couple months, in front of Franck's WIYF Café & Ice Cream. On weekends, the line of bodies snakes around the block so long that people wait up to three hours for a scoop of ice cream. I braved it from start to finish. On a recent Tuesday at 3pm, my wait clocked in at 75 minutes.

That's seventy-five minutes.

Here's how it went:

The Minutes

Minutes 0-15: The couple in front of me are all cuddled up taking selfies and generally being revolting. To my rear, five middle school students are debating if WIYF Café & Ice Cream's ice cream is worth the wait. By a 3:2 vote in favor of staying, they're locked in place for this wild ride. Ice Cream is always worth the wait.

Minutes 15–45: The couple in front have transitioned from exchanging loving eyes and selfies to individually playing Candy Crush, thereby speeding through the universal phases of a relationship in a matter of minutes. I told you queue's are places of hardship.

Incidentally, the guy in the couple doesn't know what the fuck he is doing; I have to hold back from grabbing his phone and moving that hot tamale two rows over for a win. The girl is pretty on-point though.

The five middle school students behind me are arguing that Sally needs to redo her floor diagram for Mr. Nelson's class. Sally's feelings are that Jenny needs to mind her own damn business and worry about her own damn floor diagram. Charlotte, Zoe, and Alyssa agree with Jenny. Stay strong, Sally. Redemption shall come.

Minutes 45-65: The couple in front have started arguing over some past malfeasance. I'm not sure they're going to last. Maybe. I mean, they loved each other once right? Our middle school posse is finalizing their order plans. We've got Zoe and Sally on a vanilla apple scoop, Alyssa is getting sea salt caramel, and finally Jenny and Zoe are getting down on Chocolate. So typical of Zoe to copy Jenny's order. 

The pollen is killing everyone.

Near the front of the queue, a gang of youths are enjoying their ice cream.

Youths. Ugh.

Minutes 65-75: Total silence from all groups. Anticipation hangs heavily, and no one wants to mess this up, no soup for you style. Let's set our differences aside and get this ice cream.

The Verdict

The ice cream was super rich and creamy. WIYF must be throwing in some seriously fatty cream on these guys. I tried all three flavors (Vanilla, Caramel, and Chocolate) and each were fresh and delicious. The cone had a perfect texture and an even sweetness. At 20rmb per single scoop and 30rmb for a double it's a solid deal too.

Would I wait one or two more hours for another scoop? Ehhh... you know, 75 minutes is enough. Forget all that stuff I said at the top. I came up with that bored out of my mind waiting in a line. Great ice cream though...