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Fake Meat Brand Beyond Meat Launches in China, At Starbucks

Apr 22, 2020 | 13:39 Wed
Photos: Brandon McGhee
Big news for fake meat today! Beyond Meat, the American company and competitor to Impossible Meat, has launched. At... Starbucks? Yes, at Starbucks. There's lots of hullabooloo out there in the social media universe but really only three things to talk about: Beyond Beef Classic Lasagna, Beyond Beef Pesto Pasta and Beyond Beef Spicy & Sour Wrap.

We can talk about two (we went to two different Starbucks and the wrap was sold out at both).

This, behold, is the Beyond Beef Pesto Pasta (69rmb), a curly little number in an eco-friendly paper tray.

It is like a good meal in Premium Economy on a flight to Los Angeles. Hard to taste any Beyond Beef in it but there were pine nuts! Verdict: Pesto was still green; ate the whole thing.

This, behold, is the Beyond Beef Classic Lasagna (69rmb), a perfectly rectangular slab of pasta, tomatoes and cheese.

It is like a good meal in Comfort Plus on a flight to Dallas-Fort Worth. Hard to taste any Beyond Beef in it but I still like anything called lasagna. Verdict: Round-trip.

There was one thing... one thing too... scary... too... gross... frankly ABHORRENT to eat in these new sets. We couldn't even photograph it. It was... vegetables. Like a lot of vegetables. Just piled up on top of each other in their own tray, like brightly colored bodies in an overworked morgue. Asparagus, beans, squash, leafy ones, red ones. Shudder.

Will someone please make a meat-based substitute for these awful things so I can finally eat them?

These new dishes come with a whole tray of them.

Also, they have Omnipork and Oatly oat milk on the menu now. Find'em at The Bucks!


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