We're back. Happy New Year and all of that stuff.

We [the editorial "we"] lost our asses playing mahjong and spent the rest of the holiday trying to scrape up enough cash just to get a flight back home. It wasn't pretty. Think Midnight Cowboy meets Leaving Las Vegas.

That means that we don't have an editorial plan past next Monday, so we need your help. We're looking for strange CNY stories — or, better yet, anecdotes — from you, the readers. We're looking for tales of the weird, the awkward, the embarrassing, the agonizing.

Were you stuck for eight hours on the tarmac at some dreadful third-tier city airport? Did you lose a digit setting off firecrackers? Did you bring shame upon the family of your significant other? Did you get thrown in jail for slapping a six-year-old boy at Pudong Airport?

We want to know all of this and more. And we're willing to pay with alluring prizes.

Whoever writes the best story for us gets two tickets to the Rolling Stones.

Second prize is 1000rmb worth of free Sherpa's delivery.

Third prize: You're fired.

All you have to do is send your story to editor@smartshanghai.com. The deadline is this Monday (Feb 10). Keep it short and sweet: No more than 200 words!. We'll post the best stories on Tuesday.